Fritinancy

Names in Brief

Speaking of “mister” names—as we were only yesterday—I’ve learned about another one from reader Licia, who’s a translator in Italy. Mister Baby, writes Licia, “has been on the Italian market since 1964 and it is a household name; it now belongs to British multinational Reckitt Benckiser (which, incidentally, also produce Mr Sheen).” Mister Baby sells products for babies (of both sexes, it seems) and for nursing mothers.

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Friends don’t let friends drink and text, but that hasn’t deterred TXT Cellars from creating “a line of wines dedicated to celebrating the ordinary and not so ordinary moments in life when you just need to LOL!!!” (Via @ahundredmonkeys.)

Screwtops, of course. Because it’s RLY HRD to operate a corkscrew while you’re texting, amirite?

 

Just for kicks, click “No, I am not 21” on the opening screen.

Read the Washington Post’s guest columnist Jason Wilson on the wine-drinking habits of millennials. And check out The Hairpin’s list of hypothetical rejected names for TXT wines.

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Take the quiz: Condom or Android phone? (Via Lance Knobel.) Congratulations to The Intercom Blog for sticking with tradition and using “What’s in a Name?” for the title of that post. Fifty thousand other headline writers can’t be wrong!

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Speaking of unoriginality, here’s another startup with an -ly name: Swipely. According to TechCrunch, “The company first launched as a way to share your credit card purchases with your friends, but when that idea (as deployed by Swipely and others) failed to take off, Swipely shifted its focus to helping merchants with their loyalty programs.” By my count, that brings us to 50 -ly startups, and let us say: Enoughly.

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In my February post about the bra-fitting service Brayola, I traced the commercial use of the -ola suffix back to Pianola (1895), Crayola (1903), and Victrola (1905). But it turns out there’s an even earlier example. Granola, now a generic term for a crunchy oat-based breakfast cereal, was originally a trademark. According to “Who Made That Granola?” in last week’s New York Times Magazine, John Harvey Kellogg—whose name lives on in the Kellogg’s brand—came up with “granola” in the late 1870s or early 1880s after he was sued by a rival who made “granula” and objected to Kellogg’s use of that spelling. By 1889, according to the article, Kellogg was selling two tons of Granola a week. (Tangentially, Grano.la is the name of a power-management software product. Dot-la is the country code for Laos.)

"Oui, Oui, Oui" All the Way Home

There’s only one little piggy in this set of combat-ready bendable toys. Monsieur Tofu is a “soy boy.”

 

Front of package.

 

 

Back of package.

 

Naturally, I get a kick out of “Mr. Bacon”: as some of you know, I’m very fond of “mister” names. But why is the tofu dressed as Mr. Peanut? And what’s up with “Monsieur”?

Tofu is Asian, of course, not French, unless you think of tofu as soy cheese—which it is, sort of—and you think of all cheese as French. (Remember Bart Simpson’s “cheese-eating surrender monkeys”?) But does that explain “Monsieur Tofu”? I don’t think so.

Here’s my best guess: Tofu is stigmatized as fancy-pants food for pinky-bending snobs, and “monsieur” is code for “elite” and “effete.” Never mind that you can buy tofu at Walmart, or that a pound of tofu costs less than half of what a pound of bacon costs.

In a different decade, they might have gotten away with calling Mr. Bacon’s opponent “Tofu-San.” Today a Japanese stereotype is unacceptable. Caricaturing the French, though—that’s perfectly kosher. Which is more than you can say about Mr. Bacon.

I found “Mr. Bacon vs. Monsieur Tofu” at Powell’s Sweet Shoppe in Berkeley. You can also buy it from Archie McPhee.

Mr. Tea

This teapot-teacup nesting set tickles so many of my fancies: it’s a pop-culture reference; a mister name; a pun; and a practical, ingenious design. And it makes me laugh.

 

“Currently being made” by Etsy seller LennyMud.

The same Etsy seller also makes this version, which is sold out at the moment.

The pink color is a nice touch.

And there’s a 16-ounce mug, too.

 

The real Mr. T—born Lawrence Tureaud in 1952—is still around. He wrestled and played football in high school, served in the US Army, then worked as a nightclub bouncer, where he created his Mr. T persona. (He wore gold chains and other jewelry that had been lost or left behind by customers.) He had small roles in movies (DC Cab, Rocky III), but his big break came when he joined the cast of The A-Team, the NBC action-adventure series that ran from 1983 to 1986. As Sgt. B.A. Baracus—“B.A.” stood for “Bad Ass”—his signature line was “I pity the fool.”

Photo from I Pity the Blog.

According to his official bio, Mr. T doesn’t drink alcohol. Whether or not he enjoys tea is not noted.

Mr. Bra

As I’ve acknowledged, I have a soft spot for “Mr.” names. Mr. Peanut? Mr. Espresso? Mr. Sandwich? Mr. Nature? Mr. Zipper? Mr. Bling Bling? Love ’em all.

But I’m pretty sure I draw the line at “Mr. Bra.”

 

 

“I’ve fitted 10-, 12-, 13-year-old girls,” says Mr. Bra. And a little later on: “I’ve sold bartenders this bra!” If you make it to 13:26 you’ll see a sign announcing “Breast Forms Silocone [sic] or Foam,” followed by Mr. Bra dancing with a large synthetic breast and chanting “Call me Mr. Bra, call me Mr. Bra, call me Mr. Breast Form.”

You have been warned.

I haven’t found Mr. Bra’s real name anywhere on his website (another warning: barfogenic zone), which is otherwise very comprehensive (mastectomy bras, transgender bras, lymphedema bra, zipper girdles, padded underpants, history of corsets, “guide to breast care and health for PLUS SIZE women,” etc., etc.). But if you’re in Phoenix you can check out his shop—it’s at 3247 East Thomas—and ask him yourself. He’s also on Twitter.

Via The Hairpin.

Related: “I Know! Let’s Put the Word ‘Flat’ in the Name of Our New Bra!” (via Dustbury)

Nature Boy

I picked up a bag of this after donating blood last week:

 

Made by the Mr. Nature company, Los Angeles.

...and immediately got nostalgic for last year's post about "Mister" brand names. (And for Nama Sutra's later homage.)

And then I remembered something I hadn't thought about in years:

Mr. Natural, by R. Crumb.

And then I thought, wait. When did Mom get married?

"Mother Nature Is a M.I.L.F.," from Zazzle

There's a women's version, too.

Mr.-y Spot

I've been collecting photos of "Mr." brand names for more than a decade. (Not names like "Mr. Brown's Restaurant"; the formula has to be Mr.+ Product or Mr. + Service.) I was inspired to begin the project when a friend pointed out a Chinese restaurant on San Pablo Ave. in Berkeley called Mr. Eggroll. The "O" in "Eggroll" had fallen off, and all the remaining letters appeared to have been handcut from white sticky tape, but still--you had to admire that plucky honorific and applaud the attempt at dignity. (Both the friend and the business are now defunct, alas.)

I went on to document Mr. Lumpia X (a take-out place in San Francisco specializing in the Filipino specialty called lumpia; I have no idea what the "X" stood for), Mr. Hot Dog Rancho Burgers (confusing, yes, but a very handsome sign: Geary Blvd., San Francisco), Mr. Convenience (a Japanese store on Mason St. in San Francisco; "Mr. Convenience" was the only English in the sign), Mr. Sushi (Grand Ave., Oakland), and the unabbreviated Mister Softee, the ice-cream-truck franchise in New York and the Northeast.¹ Except for Mister Softee, none of these businesses appears to have survived. All of the photos are from my pre-digital period and thus unavailable for posting; one of these days I'll have them scanned.

Meanwhile, here are some current examples of Mr. monikers.

I shot this San Francisco establishment in 2005. But this photo, from the Yelp review, gives more context:

There's a #1 in the sign because there's also a #2 store, in Hayward. And the bling-bling in question is the kind you have installed in your mouth. As one satisfied customer put it on Yelp: "Listen, at some point in your life you may need to buy some gold teeth, and when you do, Mr. Bling Bling will be waiting like a prodigal friend. Seriously, this is the place."

 

On Fairfax Ave. near Beverly Blvd., Los Angeles:

   

Quite the dapper gent, eh? He's not to be confused, of course, with Mr. Clean®, a registered trademark of Procter & Gamble:

 

 

 

 

This Mr. is also in Los Angeles, on Santa Monica Blvd. near Western Ave.:

A coffee wholesaler in downtown Oakland, near Jack London Square:

I love that snazzy streamlined font. However, the company's logo on its web site is completely different. Time to hire a sign painter?

 

On University Ave. in Berkeley. Another fine retro typeface. I'm indebted to one of the Messrs. Rooter for his heroic efforts in removing a small forest from my sewage system a few months ago.

Anybody out there have a favorite Mister?

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¹ "Mister Softee" is also stockbroker slang for Microsoft, whose ticker symbol is MSFT.