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August 11, 2021

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"Malk" could also be a reference to this classic internet video (fair warning—it kind of goes off the rails around the halfway point): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ty62YzGryU4&ab_channel=JulianSmith

There's also been a picture of something called "Pilk" going around the internet (allegedly a drink made from pickles, available in both dill and bread and butter flavors), though I'm convinced it's a hoax because there are no other images of it and no reference to the brand anywhere else that I can find. https://imgur.com/t/pickle/nZUHxc8

Just saw Mylk in a supermarket and experienced a full-body cringe.

Ripple was a fortified, highly-flavoured Gallo-brand wine popular in the '60s- -70s and known as either a dirt cheap way to get really drunk, or "girly wine". You could buy a bottle of Pagan Pink Ripple for a buck. Guess the pea-milk people thought those who hauled it to rock concerts would be dead from it by now.

Way back when, when dinosaurs still walked the earth, 7-Up ran TV commercials declaring their beverage "The Un-Cola." In one that I remember, actor Geoffrey Holder held a couple of dark nuts in his hand and said, "These are kola nuts." Then he extended his hand holding a lemon and a lime and declared, "These are Un-Cola nuts." Clever!

Vasiliy: I wrote about Uncola and other Un- brands:
https://nancyfriedman.typepad.com/away_with_words/2012/06/thats-un-possible.html

I thought about "Schmilk", as in, "Milk, schmilk—who cares?" Did a Google search—found "Schmilk, the world's first premium vegan milk chocolate."
I submit, "Schpilk, the Un-Zoloft", a high energy, non-dairy beverage." [from Yiddish, Schpilkes, meaning agitation, or anxiety]

'Then there are the dairy alternatives that tell you only what they aren’t: Not Milk, NotMilk, and “Shh … This Is Not MLK,” with a white droplet replacing the I in milk, to ensure that you don’t confuse it with not–Martin Luther King Jr.'

Very droll!

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