Undingnified

My marketing brain knows this promoted tweet from Fruit of the Loom is supposed to be festive and funny. But my civilian brain finds it baffling and a little icky.

Undings are meant to be filled with underwear, no matter what style you plan on gifting. #NeverUndingFireplace pic.twitter.com/lMsy55fZla

— Fruit of the Loom (@FruitOfTheLoom) December 19, 2016

 

I see unding as un-ding, as in “You can’t un-ding that damage to your car’s fender.” No? Well, maybe unding is a gerund, like understanding or undulating. (“Do you like unding?” “Sorry, I’ve never unded.”)

After about 30 seconds, I figured out the correct interpretation: It’s a blend of underwear and stocking.*

Thirty seconds is too long. And this is a bad portmanteau.

@Fritinancy Impossible to read that as underwear + stocking. Hence, #shitmanteau #makeshitmanteauhappen

— BeautyMarks (@BeautyMarks) December 20, 2016

I’ve written about bad portmanteaus in the past: Flatizza, framily, Analtech, glotion. The gist: Some word pairs just aren’t suitable for blending. Underwear + stocking is one of those pairs. Understock? No. Underking? No. Stockinwear? No. Undocking? No.

It’s hopeless. And in German, it’s worse.

@Fritinancy @FruitOfTheLoom Also, in German, "Unding" means "something that is absurd or morally unjustifiable."https://t.co/SQqHdhLQQO

— Nicholas Marritz (@stringquintet) December 21, 2016

What happens when we see an unfamiliar word? We break it down into familiar components. In this case, we see the prefix un- and the familiar word ding. Looking at the picture doesn’t help much: Those clearly aren’t stockings, so what are they?

They’re … velveteen underpants. Near an open flame.

And now I can’t un-see an unding filled with a couple of tangerines. Or a really long candy cane. Or even – yes, I’m very, very naughty – lumps of coal.

_

* As for the #NeverUndingFireplace hashtag, I can’t help reading it as a parallel to #NeverTrump or #NeverHillary. I will, in fact, never hang an unding over my fireplace, or anywhere else.

 

 

Comments

[Jessica]

You can actually sing "velveteen underpants, near an open flame" to the tune of Jingle Bells. You're welcome!

[Eric Vogt]

I've coined the term "portmanteew" to describe a particularly noisome portmanteau.