The Internet of Thyngs

Why slurp from a brain-dead plastic cup when you can drynk from a rechargeable Vessyl that’s lynked to your smartphone?

 

Capacity: 13 ounces (385 ml). Colors: Shadow, Snow, and Steam. Compatible with iOS and Android devices. Not dishwasher safe. 

Please turn down the volume on your speakers for the following explanation of Vessyl:

VESSYL AUTOMATICALLY KNOWS AND TRACKS WHAT YOU'RE DRINKING IN REAL-TIME

But wait—there’s more!

IT KNOWS WHAT’S INSIDE

It’s not magic, but close to it… the Vessyl knows and aggregates everything you drink. No more guessing or journaling. It keeps track of what’s important to you… all automatically.

I’m sure you’ll agree that an automatically aggregating cup designed by the famous Yves Béhar—does his name hold a clue to the Y in Vessyl?—is worth $99 plus $10 shipping and a wait of six months or more. But hurry! That price will go up to $199 soon. 

How does the mnemonic go again? “The Vessyl with the pessyl has the brüe that is trü…”

 

 Danny Kaye in The Court Jester (1955).

 

 

Via Mark Morford, who observes that “obnoxious spellings make all the cool kids swoon.”

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More Y-substitution names here. Brands with gratuitous umlauts here.