Alas, it does not mean what they think it means.
Alas: An expression of grief, compassion, or alarm; also used to express sorrow, regret, or apprehension of danger or evil.
I think what the copywriter may have been searching for was voilà! or aha! or presto! Alas, we’ll never know.
Now that my holiday jolliness has curdled, I may as well unload a few more complaints:
1. Why is she getting dressed the night before the party?
2. Enough with the ’twas-the-night-ing – and all the other rusty holiday clichés. (The subject line on this particular email, I’m sorry to say, was “’Tis the Season for Super Duper Shaping.” No, ’tain’t.)
3. If you’re going to parody a well-known poem*, you must at a minimum get the rhyme and meter right. “Snug” does not rhyme with “glove.”
*
Previously in That Word: Sophistry, servile, infamous, arriviste, bupkus, unrequited.
__
* Tip: Don’t.
I totally--strongly!--agree with you about rhyme and meter in parodies. On the other hand I note that the original poem rhymes "Vixen" and "Blitzen".
Posted by: empty | November 23, 2012 at 08:51 AM
@empty: In the early 19th century, "tz" was pronounced like "x."
OK, I just made that up.
Posted by: Nancy Friedman | November 23, 2012 at 09:06 AM
It makes no sense at all. Perhaps Spanx outsourced the ad copy to non-English speakers?
Posted by: Jessica | November 23, 2012 at 09:11 AM
Bizarre! I don't think I've ever seen anyone do that with "alas" before.
I'd give them a pass on the "snug"/"glove" half-rhyme. As far as I can tell, their little quatrain bears no relation whatsoever to the poem alluded to in the headline, so I think the most charitable response—'tis the season for charity, after all—would be to assume that it's not intended to. (That would make it a non sequitur, rather than a thoroughly inept attempt at parody. I think that's a lesser sin.)
They do, however, lose marks for the backward apostrophe in "“Twas" (like the one you pointed out in one of the 'tis-ers in your post from last year).
Posted by: Q. Pheevr | November 23, 2012 at 09:13 AM
OK, I just made that up.
I actually considered believing you for a moment or two before I read that. This is some sort of testament to my gullibility or your well-earned authority, or both.
Posted by: empty | November 23, 2012 at 03:14 PM
I have occasionally run into this kind of misuse of "alas". The first time was about 7 or 8 years ago, in a classroom newsletter written by a very smart and seasoned preschool teacher. Shocking.
Posted by: empty | November 23, 2012 at 03:17 PM
Geez. Now that I reread the post again, I find that left to my own devices I might not have even recognized this as a reference to "'Twas the Night ..." or whatever it's called: the scansion is that bad. Also there is a grammatically irritating something--a lack of parallelism or something--about "When slipping ... and the fit is".
Posted by: empty | November 23, 2012 at 03:22 PM
Banned holiday cliches where I work:
— ’Tis the season
— bah, humbug
— it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas (or like anything else)
— yes, Virginia
— ho, ho, ho
— holidaze
— Christmas came early (for anyone or anything)
— Calling anyone or anything a Grinch
— deck the halls
— the white stuff (in reference to snow)
Posted by: Andrea Behr | November 23, 2012 at 08:09 PM
@Andrea: Your list is in sync with John McIntyre's: http://bsun.md/T2NyLd
Posted by: Nancy Friedman | November 23, 2012 at 08:19 PM
Anyone who has ever struggled to squeeze into a Spanx will agree that voilà! or presto! definitely don't describe the experience.
Posted by: Jill | November 24, 2012 at 10:03 AM