Fritinancy

Sketchy?

Here’s a business name that takes a big semantic risk. Does it succeed? You decide.

The name is Sketch Ice Cream, which—as reported by the independent news site Berkeleyside—reopened last week in a new West Berkeley location after a three-year hiatus.

The owners explain the origin of “Sketch” on their FAQ page:

How did you come up with the name Sketch? In the same way our ice cream is made with the purest ingredients, similarly a sketch is the purest form of ideas.

OK, so they didn’t hire a professional writer. What’s evident, though, is that they define sketch the old-fashioned way: a drawing. The problem? There’s a competing, slangy, adjectival sense of sketch and sketchy: “unsafe,” “creepy,” “iffy,” “of dubious character.” And that connotation is exactly what a food-service establishment should strive to avoid.

I wrote last year about the dual meanings of sketch and sketchy here on the blog and, in more extended form, in my column for the Visual Thesaurus. (The paywall should be down now.) The “unsafe” sense has been in circulation, especially among teens and young adults, since at least 2008, when linguist Connie Eble documented it among students at North Carolina University the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. It is sometimes said to have originated among methampetamine users, for whom “sketch” has been slang for “meth” for at least 20 years. However, Ben Zimmer has traced the “unsavory” meaning of “sketch” back even further, to as early as 1971.

As long as I’m quibbling, I challenge Sketch’s assertion that “a sketch is the purest form of ideas.” Rather, it’s the roughest form of an idea—hasty, incomplete, and lacking in details. That’s not a positive association for a pricey ice-cream parlor, either.

I do give Sketch credit for a cute, childlike wordmark, which I’d reproduce here if it weren’t rendered in such faint gray type as to be practically indistinguishable from the website’s white background. In fact, the entire site is a pain to read. Please fix that, Sketch! And if you decide to refine your name into something less shady and unfinished, give me a call.

Oh, Lookify!

Another day, another -ify business name:

Before she went off to Washington University in St. Louis as a freshman three years ago, [Amanda Zuckerman] went shopping for dorm furnishings and found the offerings at big-box stores “very childish,” she said. “No one had Twin XL bedding that was very stylish,” she said, referring to the irregular bed size native to residence halls.

So Ms. Zuckerman and her mother, Karen, an advertising executive in Washington, started Dormify.com, an e-commerce site that sells stylish (and generally more expensive) bedding sets, wall decals and sorority-themed items like posters and Greek prints.

(New York Times Home & Garden section, August 30, 2012)

Horrible Yet Appropriate Brand Name of the Week

If I had been in charge of choosing an official snack food for this week’s Republican National Convention—an unlikely-to-the-nth-degree assignment, but fun to imagine—I would not have hesitated. Every bowl in every hospitality suite would have been filled with Pepperidge Farm Jingos!™

 

Also available in Parmesan Garlic and Fiesta Cheddar flavors.

Here’s the product description:

Bold Flavor, Snappy Crunch™
Ready for a bite? Our uniquely crunchy crackers are always baked and are seasoned twice for an explosive taste every time! It’s Jingos!™ A fun new way to snack from Pepperidge Farm.

And here’s the definition of jingo from the Online Etymology Dictionary:

“[M]indless, gung-ho patriot,” 1878, picked up from the refrain of a music hall song written by G.W. Hunt, and sung by “Gilbert H. MacDermott” (1845-1901), supporting aggressive British policy toward Russia at a time of international tension. (“We don’t want to fight, But by Jingo! if we do, We’ve got the ships, we’ve got the men, We’ve got the money too.")

Hunt’s patriotic song of 1878, with a swinging tune ... became at Macdermott’s instigation the watchword of the popular supporters of England’s bellicose policy. The “Daily News” on 11 March 1878 first dubbed the latter ‘Jingoes’ in derision .... [“Dictionary of National Biography,” London, 1912]

Source: Digital Journal.

 

Pepperidge Farms filed for trademark protection of “Jingos!” in July 2011. The mark was approved on August 19, 2012, which means the ™ will be changing to ®. According to the Trademarkia record, “The description provided to the USPTO for JINGOS is Crackers.”

“Crackers” could also describe how some people feel about the 2012 Republican Party platform, which supports the public display of the Ten Commandments, says English should be “the official language of our nation,” calls same-sex marriage “an assault on the foundations of our society,” and opposes gun legislation that would limit “the capacity of clips or magazines.”

(More crackers: Twitter friend ArmaVirumque reminds me that big donors to the Romney campaign were treated Wednesday to a party aboard “Cracker Bay,” a 150-foot yacht belonging to a Florida real-estate developer. The vessel flies the flag of the Cayman Islands.)

Thanks to Jessica Stone Levy for the Jingos! tip.

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P.S. I will do my best to keep this blog a no-political-outbursts zone in this presidential election season, but Jingos! is just too irresistible a target to overlook.

Fee, -ify, Fo, Fum

I smell a namifying trend that just won’t quitify. Here are eight examples of new brands with the derivative name style du jour:

Artify: “Art that will take your breath away at a price that won’t.” Uses the Italy country code (.it) to create an imperative: Artify It. (Via Terrence Lockyer.)

Battlefy: “Organize, Play, and Watch. Sports e-volved.”

Lumify: “Stitch beautiful short videos together on your iPhone” (TechCrunch). Uses the Montenegro country code (.me) to create an imperative: Lumify Me.

Namify: Makes nametags and other promotional products. Formerly called Namifiers. (Via Arrant Pedantry.)

Politify: “Discover the financial impacts of the 2012 presidential candidates’ plans.” Created by two UC Berkeley students; aside from the copycat name, it’s an interesting and useful app. (Via TechCrunch.)

Sponsorfied: Oh, look—an adjective! “We simplify sponsorships by connecting the best brands with amazing opportunities.” (Via TechCrunch.)

Stopify: “An application for Android phones that helps you miss fewer phone events when you are out walking!” Note the use of “phone events”—which presumably includes texts, emails, and Twitter alerts as well as phone calls. Like Lumify, Stopify is a .me domain. (Via @ErikaRemmy.)

Tweetify: An app that allows Shopify store owners to market their products on Twitter. (Via @n0aaa.) The Name Inspector included Shopify in his 2011 post, “A Disturbifying Trend in Namifying.”

Wah Wah

Cue the soundtrack, turn on the lava lamp, and get ready for some salty, creamy action.

 

Boomchickapop popcorn delivers “non-negotiable nom nom nomness.”

 

Balm Chicky Balm Balm lip balm is available (nope, not gonna say “comes”) in five flavors: Juicy Melons, Sweet Baby Ginger, Huge Cucumber, Wild Mountain Honey, and Hot Chocolate Love. Direct quote from the home page:

The sound track to the 70s can now be spread across your lips making them moist, supple and ready for action! With all natural ingredients and scents to fuel your inner fire, BCBB is ready to please. Want more? The real scene stealer is our unique patented package. The Friend End™ tube is designed to keep balm users from sharing more than just lip relief. Never taint your balm again!

 

 

“Bow Chicka Wow Wow,” 2010 single by Mike Posner.

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Hat tip to reader Jill, who sent me a link to a story about Balm Chicky Balm Balm in DenverPost.com. Co-founder Elizabeth Moscow told the paper that the name was inspired by “bow chicka wow wow”; the article explained that the phrase “refers to the pulsating background music from 1970s pornographic movies.” BCBB’s founders recently raised $6,780 toward a $10,000 funding goal through Indiegogo—an appropriate name itself, in this context.

Word of the Week: ZomBee

ZomBee: A honey bee that has been parasitized by the “zombie fly,” Apocephalus borealis. The word is a portmanteau of zombie (a reanimated corpse; originally from West African words meaning “fetish” or “god”) and bee.

“ZomBee” appears to have been coined by the researchers at ZomBee Watch, a citizen science project sponsored by San Francisco State University and the Los Angeles County Museum of Natural History that is tracking the spread of ZomBees, According the project’s website, “Fly-parasitized honey bees become ‘ZomBees’ showing the ‘zombie-like behavior’ of leaving their hives at night on ‘a flight of the living dead’.” (Watch a video.)

Apocephalus borealis on the dorsal area of a honey bee, laying eggs in its host. Image from PLOS ONE.

“Zombie flies” are suspected to be a cause of Colony Collapse Disorder, first reported in 2006 and said to be responsible for the disappearance of nearly one-third of the honey bees in the United States. Without honey bees, many food crops cannot be pollinated. A research paper published in PLOS ONE in January 2012 provided documentation that Apocephalus borealis, previously known to parasitize bumble bees, “also infects and eventually kills honey bees and may pose an emerging threat to North American apiculture.”

For more about non-apian zombies, read my word-of-the-week post from January 2009. For another new twist on the zombie trope, read about the Zombie-Eyed Granny Starver, Esquire columnist Charles P. Pierce’s epithet for Republican vice-presidential candidate Paul Ryan.

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Hat tip: ZombieLaw blog.

Names in the News

Sunnyvale-based HP, which bought smartphone company Palm two years ago, is creating a new subsidiary that will incorporate the remnants of Palm, according to a leaked memo reproduced in All Things D and elsewhere. The new unit’s name is Gram, and its logo is … interesting.

The typography does suggest lightness. (Is the G a demi-butterfly?) It’s unclear whether the name is meant to evoke “grandmother,” “telegram,” “grammar,” or “Grammy award,” but I can think of a ready-made tagline, modified only slightly from Aldous Huxley’s original: “Gram is better than a damn.”

My 2009 post about the puzzling persistence of the Palm Pilot name is here.

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Alameda County’s first indoor miniature-golf course opens tomorrow. Its name will cause some double-takes:

It’s ironic, doncha know. From the Subpar FAQ:

We are aware that subpar usually implies something that is not quite up to snuff. This is us not taking ourselves too seriously. Being below par in golf is a positive thing, so the silly name works in our case. And only our case.

Hipster humor: sub-whelming.

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In Chicago, the Morse Avenue “L” station opened a couple of weeks ago after a six-week rehab. Best part of the coverage in Chicago Now is the news that a restaurant be opening near the station entrance. Its name is perfection itself: morseL.

(Photo via Chicago Now. Hat tip: Amy “Crossword Fiend” Reynaldo.)

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UK-based Shutl, which calls itself “the world’s fastest delivery service,” has offered the world’s fastest man, Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt, 1 percent of the company if he can help set a delivery record. Sweet deal, but isn’t “Shutl” the name of Tevye’s youngest daughter in Fiddler on the Roof? Shutl from the shtetl, they called her. Such a lovely girl.

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Three things you may not have known: 1) The Obama White House is the first in history to brew its own beer. It’s “unbelievably good,” according to White House assistant chef Sam Kass. 2) A petition at Whitehouse.gov calls on the administration to release the recipe “so that it may be enjoyed by all.” 3) My source for the story is the “blog of record about White House food initiatives, from policy to pie.” The blog has a delicious name: Obama Foodorama.

The Long Coffee Break

I learned about Death Wish Coffee too late to include it in my week of death brands posts. But better late (haha) than never.

 

Image via AdFreak.

Death Wish comes with a caveat:

Disclaimer:  This is not your regular morning coffee.  This is not your store bought coffee. You will not find this coffee at your local diner or at your sissy Starbucks. Death Wish Coffee is the most highly caffeinated premium dark roast organic coffee in the world. This is Extreme Coffee, not for the weak. Consider yourself Warned.

One pound—beans or ground—costs $19.99.

Too bad Death cigarettes (1991-1999) aren’t still around. They’d be the perfect accompaniment to a cup of Death Wish.

 

Image from Making the Modern World.

Death cigarettes were the brainchild of British branding guy B.J. Cunningham. Watch a 2010 video of Cunningham talking about—what else?—branding.

Not Keeping Up

When “Jones” is the first word in your brand name, shouldn’t you know how to conjugate the word properly?

That seems not to be the case with Jones New York, the namesake brand of a Fortune 500 retail conglomerate.

 

Screen shot from the Jones New York website.*

The same image and headline appear in a two-page ad in the September issue of Vogue (pages 190-191). Lavish styling, pricey photography, expensive ad buy. Too bad a few dollars weren’t left over to pay a proofreader.

 

Here’s the thing: The idiom is “Keeping up with the Joneses.”** Joneses is the plural of Jones, and it follows the rule about regular plural formation: If a word ends in a pronounced S—as opposed to the silent S of some French names like “Dumas”—add -es.

Not an apostrophe.

So maybe this apostrophized name is a possessive? According to some usage guides (notably the Associated Press Stylebook), words that end an S become possessives with the addition of an apostrophe. According to others (notably the Chicago Manual of Style), they need an apostrophe and an S: Kansas’s, Dickens’s, Morris’s.

But whichever guide you follow, a possessive noun has to possess something. We might say, for example, that we’re keeping up with the Joneses' circus skills. In the ad, however, nothing is being possessed.

Enough? Enough. After all, I still have 770 pages of the Vogue September issue to plow through. Who knows how many usage goofs lie ahead?

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* The dress is $399, comes in sizes 2, 4, and 6 only, and won’t ship until September 14—and then it’s a final sale (no refunds or exchanges).

** According to the biographer of the novelist Edith Wharton, “keeping up with the Joneses” was coined in reference to Wharton’s very wealthy aunt, Elizabeth Schermerhorn Jones.

Nail-omics

This week has brought sightings of Ryanomics and Zombie Reaganomics. It also brought this:

 

Stylenomics, a new nail color from Essie, is “a wealthy, rich and opulent dark green.” It’s featured in a full-page ad in the mammoth September issue of Vogue.

I last wrote about Essie’s fanciful color names in May 2011. The current season’s palette includes Recessionista, No Place Like Chrome, and Don’t Sweater It.

I wrote about the very productive (and brandable) -omics suffix—Freakonomics, Geckonomics, Vespanomics, et al.—in April 2011. Since then, I’ve learned about someone even more obsessed with omics than I am: Jonathan Eisen, an evolutionary biologist who teaches at UC Davis. The omics suffix is “a language parasite,” Eisen told the Wall Street Journal last week. (A chart accompanying the article is titled “Increasingomics.”) In his blog, The Tree of Life, Eisen documents the “bad omics word of the day”; past honorees have included culturomics, museomics, circomics, and circadiomics. Eisen’s Twitter handle, by the way, is @phylogenomics.

UPDATE: Read Ben Zimmer’s Word Routes column about the distinction between omics and nomics.