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March 01, 2012


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Lousy Smarch weather...

Makes me wonder what's next. The return of scratch-n-sniff stickers, now called Smickers? Scented Post-it pads, on which you can take Smotes? Scented art supplies called Smart Supplies?

Oh, wait. I might buy that last one.

About sixty years ago a New York inventor named Harold Barnhard decided that the pocket bulge created by mechanical pencils was a problem crying out for a remedy. (Mechanical pencils? Yes.) So he designed one that was flat except for a thin ridge just the diameter of the pencil lead inside; it was called the Slencil. A few were made and of course his friends (including my folks, which is why I know this) got prototypes.
He also decided that the task of stacking the olives pimento-side out in the jar was too labor intensive, so he designed the Olive Tree that the packers could impale them on. Luckily his wife had a full-time professional job, though at that they weren't prosperous--the family car was a prewar Packard with a busted convertible top, whence its name, the Flying Bathtub.

@Rootlesscosmo: What a wonderful story! Thanks for sharing it.

Gourmetscented pencils? Why scented pencils at all?

I must confess that there are Smencils IN MY HOUSE. But thankfully no Smens (that I know about).

Do you suppose that _all_ of their flavors are considered "gourmet"? Even the classic Bubble Gum, the original Sorta Soda and the smalentine Be Mine?

Really, calling to mind both semen AND smegma has to merit some kind of blooper award. Now if they could only work santorum into it ...

Smencils were a BIG DEAL around these parts when the kids were, oh, 6 and 9 or so. Lots of disturbing scenarios when I came across one child or the other huffing from the Freshness Tube. Mercifully they'd moved on before you had to put Semen and Smegma (which was my high school boyfriend's nickname for his cat) into mind. Thanks for the delay.

Would it help to quote Lewis Carroll in our defense? "'When I use a word,' Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, 'it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less.'"

Wondering your thoughts about our new portmanteaus: Pink Llamanade, Kangarootbeer, Mint Chocolate Chipmunk and friends (more at SmanimalWorld.com). They are Smanimals, of course.

Thanks for the mention.

The Smencils Team

"No one loves a corn-based biodegradable Freshness Tube more than I do."

Laugh out loud funny line. Thank you very much.

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