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December 08, 2011


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No disrespect to Peter Moylan, but his OP quoted Erik K Auld, who posted the original list on McSweeneys, apparently on 11/8: http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/seven-bar-jokes-involving-grammar-and-punctuation Loved seeing the additions on alt.usage.english, so thanks for leading me to those! Made me go look up some grammar vocab.

Thanks, Allison. Mea culpa.

I found the following outstanding variations at The Stroppy Editor http://stroppyeditor.wordpress.com/2011/11/09/jokes-are-barred/

A subject and a verb disagrees about which bar to walk into.
An Oxford comma hops, skips, and jumps into a bar.
A pleonasm enters into a bar.
The subjunctive would walk into a bar, were it in the mood.
A hyphen, drunk after leaving the bar, mistakenly walks-into a phrasal verb.
A colon and a semicolon walk into a bar: the colon has a gutful; the semicolon orders a half.
A syllepsis walks out on its wife and into a bar.
A gang of commas walk into a bar and order everything on the menu.
A prescriptivist walks into a tavern, because of course ‘bar’ means the counter at which drink is served rather than the establishment itself. He wonders why nobody else is there.
A meaning walks into a bar and orders a double.
A portmanteau walks into a barmaid.

@Laura: Love 'em, especially the one about the prescriptivist.

A few months back, when the data from the cyclotron seemed to indicate that there actually were things that could go faster than the speed of light, this joke ran around:

"We don't serve faster-than-light neutrinos in here," says the bartender. A neutrino walks into a bar.

An ampersand walks into a Bar & Grill.

Glad to see AUE is still around. I discovered them nearly 20 years ago, when it was still USENET.

How about: a dyslexic walks into a bra?

@bernie: Yep, it's on the alt.usage.english list.

Dang, I see it now. But on a slightly related note: I went out with a girl who made bras for a living but I broke it off because she wouldn't give me the support I needed.

alt.usage.english is most certainly NOT a GoogleGroup. It is a USENET group and always has been.

@John: Got it. Fixed it!

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