There are other ways to coin new words besides smooshing word-parts together, but you’d never know it from reading the ads in the June 2011 Allure (the issue with the waxworks January Jones on the cover).
Here’s what I’m talking about.
“Staycation” was how we weathered the Recession Summer of 2008. “Selfcation” had its moment in 2010. This year our ambitions are even more modest: we’re just hanging out at the beach with our stubble. I suspect a lot of hipster/Hollywood dudes have been shave-cationing for years, but it’s nice to know we ladies can also “skip a day or two.” (See other examples of this Schick campaign.)
Brazilian + brilliant = Braziliant. From Essie, “America’s nail salon expert,” whose palette also includes “Vermillionaire,” “Jamaica Me Crazy,” and “Tart Deco.” Read more about how company founder Essie Weingarten comes up with color names: “I think about a moment, or something that inspires me, like a summer vacation.” Or maybe a shave-cation?
Thanks, Chevy Malibu, for spelling out the pronunciation of “fancytastic.” I’d never have guessed. (The male model appears to have been photographed in mid-shave-cation.)
Plantscription, an “anti-aging serum” from Origins, contains Anogeissus, which I thought was as invented as “Plantscription” but turns out to be the name of a tree species. Anogeissus trees contain large amounts of tannin. So, basically, if you want to treat your face as though it were a slab of cowhide, this is the product for you.
It's a veritable portmantocalypse!
(Sorry.)
I think this is just another sign of what I'm seeing in books and movies and TV -- attempts to be creative without being original. It seems like so few things being created these days are legitimately unique.
Posted by: 4ndyman | May 24, 2011 at 07:55 AM
>if you want to treat your face as though it were a slab of cowhide, this is the product for you
Of, of course, you could just dip your face in cold tea. Which could be advertised as tea-licious. Or tea-lightful. Or ... or obviously I'm not in the ad business. :-)
Posted by: mike | May 24, 2011 at 07:57 AM
And to bring things full circle, a slab of cowhide makes a really good strap for maintaining a classic straight razor, which is essential after an extended shave-cation.
Posted by: CGHill | May 24, 2011 at 08:12 AM
Oooh, I came across a doozy last week. I get a catalog for aviation buffs that has books, models, and other stuff related to aircraft from World War II. One popular section of the catalog is books and decorative pieces related to the "nose art" on old warplanes, very often scantily-clad females, either riding bombs, or shooting six-guns, etc.
The romance copy for one of these pieces referred to them as "Patri-rotic" images. Agh!
http://www.historicaviation.com/product_info.po?ID=20142&category=ww&product=Home+D%C3%A9cor&subcategory=USAAF+Bombers
This is obviously a modern product, as the bikini didn't come along until after the war, and bikinis like THAT didn't come along until much later. "Patri-rotic", meanwhile, sounds very 2003 to me.
Posted by: Mark Gunnion | May 24, 2011 at 09:41 AM
Honestly, if it scans, it works. "Braziliant" and "Vermillionaire" are fantastic, roll-off-the-tongue, witty portmanteaux (?). Shave-cation, on the other hand, just sucks.
And "Fancytastic" - well, that's just Chevro-lame.
Posted by: Jessica | May 24, 2011 at 12:21 PM
The occasional portmanteau does work, but to do so it must not only be clever in the given context, but also be able to move into other contexts without becoming opaque. To do this it must evoke the original components clearly and the intended meaning should relate in a fairly obvious way to the meaning of these components. Does "Brazilliant" refer to Carnaval in Rio, or an especially shiny-smooth bikini wax? No, it's an orangy-red nail polish?! (What does orangy-red have to do with Brazil?)
The vast majority of portmanteaux being proffered in the current craze end up being meaningless a half an hour after you hear them. If I had the power, I would declare a moratorium on all portmanteaux for at least five years (and please don't call it a portmantorium).
Posted by: Rolig | May 24, 2011 at 01:38 PM