There's never been a better time to be undead, what with True Blood, Twilight, and The Vampire Diaries infusing fresh blood into the vampire genre and zombies taking over banks and companies. For your Halloween shopping enjoyment, Comics Alliance has unearthed the worst of this year's vampire-themed products—which, depending on your perspective, may also be considered the cream of the crop.
Not only can you buy a Buffy the Vampire Slayer wooden stake—yes, an actual piece of wood—for $100, but you can also own a preserved pig heart (very similar to a human heart, anatomically) with a stake through it. The latter trinket will set you back $225, but you do get a wooden display chest in the bargain.
I learned a new word from the Comics Alliance people: "reborning." It refers to the practice of painting a doll to make it look more like a real baby. Combine reborning with undead and you get this winsome keepsake:
I have no idea how much it cost, because it's sold out at the Wicked Little Things Etsy store. However, the same vendor still has a different OOAK (one-of-a-kind) Reborn Vampire Horror Fantasy Doll in stock for $60 (shipping extra).
For sheer weirdness, however, you can't beat the Sexy Vampire Menstrual Goddess XL/Postpartum Cloth Pad, which bears the welcoming image of a suspiciously healthy-looking undead dude.
It too is an Etsy item, but you'll also find it on Regretsy, an unaffiliated site whose name speaks for itself. (Tagline: "Handmade? It looks like you made it with your feet.") I'm in awe of the simple perfection of Regretsy's title for the SVMGXL/PCP: "The Curse."
Check out my previous posts about Halloween branding:
- A few of my favorite necro-brands (2007).
- Vampire wine (2007).