Our Special This Evening Is Euphemism in Drawn Butter

Linda L. Bean, heiress to the L. L. Bean fortune, is spending millions of dollars to bolster Maine's struggling lobster economy. She has opened Linda Bean's Perfect Maine Lobster Roll, a chain of two stands and three restaurants that she plans to expand via nationwide franchises. In addition, according to the New York Times:

She is opening a “lobster academy” for chefs, is seeking to trademark new names for lobster products (she thinks “claws” sound scary) and pushing, against the wishes of many here, for the state’s lobster catch to be certified as sustainable by a London-based environmental group.

Her goal, she said, is to save Maine’s most iconic industry by ending its dependence on Canadian processors and, under her Linda Bean’s Perfect Maine label, to mass market Maine lobster the way Perdue does chicken.

If "claws" sounds scary, what does Ms. Bean propose as an alternative?

"Cuddlers." As in "Linda Bean's Lobster Cuddlers," served with drawn butter.

“We’re trying to find better names for claws,” she said, studying one before popping it into her mouth at the Dip Net, a longtime Port Clyde restaurant that she bought this year. “Like chicken tenders — it tells you you’re eating something succulent, not scary.”

Hmmm. I'm not so sure I want to eat something cuddly, either. I mean, I've cut way back on the sea kittens lately.

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Lobster cartoon from here.

Comments

[Nick]

Thanks! I always find your posts interesting and informative. I'm amazed to find out that the L.L. in L.L.Bean is a real person. I thought that the "L.L." in L.L.Bean meant "lots of luck" at finding something from Bean that fits - other than a snobbishly perfect medium thin.
Of course I understand that someone who was raised at L.L. Bean would want to describe a lobster the same way as a Casmere Waffle Hoodie or Sunwashed Canvas Comfort Mocs. Thanks again!

[Jessica]

I can't even come up with a witty comment - that's simply one of the stupidest things I've ever heard. You can call it a dried plum, but it's still a prune. There has to be a better use for Ms. Bean's millions.

[macinjosh.pip.verisignlabs.com]

ProTip: If it just went from a kitchen to your plate, it's not scary. :)

[Jean Gogolin]

I read that NYT story and groaned. Linda Bean's daddy Leonard was a bit of an eccentric, according to his bio, and apparently the apple didn't fall too far from the tree. The day rugged Down Easters start calling lobster claws "cuddlers," I'll swear off the things.