Time for another theme week at Fritinancy! This time we cross over to the dark side for an unflinching analysis of some bad examples of brand naming. Five days, five bad names! Who knows: I may even throw in a bonus malonym. It's not as if there's a shortage.
For our first Bad Name, may I hear a chorus of raspberries for:
That's Blellow, the name that starts with bleah and then goes low. (The smiley face is silent.) Say it loud, and it's almost like hurling.
According to the company blog, Blellow is a "bootstrapped start-up" based in San Antonio whose "mission is to encourage open collaboration and the sharing of knowledge." Reviewing the company in March, the technology blog TechCrunch said Blellow was "like Yammer meets LinkedIn meets Twitter in a way that makes sense." In other words, it's a microblogging site (like Twitter) that focuses on business collaboration (like Yammer) and business networking (like LinkedIn).
That's not a bad idea at all. In fact, I recently finished a project involving a large team spread over multiple time zones. We could have used a project-collaboration tool like Blellow.
The name, however, is truly awful. It's silly, difficult to pronounce, and uninspiring. According to the bootstrapping founders, Blellow blends together blue and yellow "because Green [capitalization sic] just isn't good enough. The meaning for us is the concept of bringing known elements together in a different way, resulting in something new & unexpected."
In case you still don't get it, there's a link to Urban Dictionary, which cites the character Reese, the dumbest brother on the TV sitcom Malcolm in the Middle: "I invented a new color...I mixed blue and yellow and got... blellow"!
And if you're still confused—who wouldn't be?—there's a 30-second video with a pronunciation guide and a conceptual nudge. We're supposed to think that just as "net" plus "work" equals "network," "blel" plus "low" equals Blellow. Um ... sure.
Here's what's wrong with that logic:
1. Blending blue and yellow creates green, not "something new & unexpected."
2. Nobody cares what you've blended together.
3. The Blel- consonant cluster is unnatural and discordant in English and unpronounceable in many other languages, including Chinese, German, Japanese, and Spanish.
4. The name fails to communicate a benefit.
5. The name has no secondary message beyond "blue plus yellow": there's no embedded meaning of "business," "work," or "project."
6. The name sounds like baby talk—a serious handicap when your target audience is adults working together on business projects.
7. Counting on your customers' nostalgia for an American TV show that was canceled in 2006 is, to put it mildly, pushing it. And irrelevant.
I've said it before (here, for example): portmanteaus, or word blends, are the easy default for novice namers, yet they're the hardest ones to pull off successfully. Allan Metcalf, in Predicting New Words, cites a study that found that while more than half of all new words result from making compounds (two complete words joined together, such as moonlighting) or adding prefixes or suffixes (such as shopaholic), "blends that use just parts of words rarely succeed, accounting for only about 5 percent of new words." Smog (smoke plus fog) is a rare example of a successful blend; earnest attempts that ended in failure have included linner (lunch/dinner) and plerk (play/work).
If I'd had any doubt that the naming of Blellow was a strictly DIY operation, that doubt was dispelled by a recent post on the company's blog. The team had tried and failed to create a tagline for the company (no doubt using the same shooting-in-the-dark process that led to "Blellow"), so they're inviting reader submissions. Their top ten ideas are as bad in their way as the company name, with the slight advantage of using real English words:
According to the company blog, Blellow is a "bootstrapped start-up" based in San Antonio whose "mission is to encourage open collaboration and the sharing of knowledge." Reviewing the company in March, the technology blog TechCrunch said Blellow was "like Yammer meets LinkedIn meets Twitter in a way that makes sense." In other words, it's a microblogging site (like Twitter) that focuses on business collaboration (like Yammer) and business networking (like LinkedIn).
That's not a bad idea at all. In fact, I recently finished a project involving a large team spread over multiple time zones. We could have used a project-collaboration tool like Blellow.
The name, however, is truly awful. It's silly, difficult to pronounce, and uninspiring. According to the bootstrapping founders, Blellow blends together blue and yellow "because Green [capitalization sic] just isn't good enough. The meaning for us is the concept of bringing known elements together in a different way, resulting in something new & unexpected."
In case you still don't get it, there's a link to Urban Dictionary, which cites the character Reese, the dumbest brother on the TV sitcom Malcolm in the Middle: "I invented a new color...I mixed blue and yellow and got... blellow"!
And if you're still confused—who wouldn't be?—there's a 30-second video with a pronunciation guide and a conceptual nudge. We're supposed to think that just as "net" plus "work" equals "network," "blel" plus "low" equals Blellow. Um ... sure.
Here's what's wrong with that logic:
1. Blending blue and yellow creates green, not "something new & unexpected."
2. Nobody cares what you've blended together.
3. The Blel- consonant cluster is unnatural and discordant in English and unpronounceable in many other languages, including Chinese, German, Japanese, and Spanish.
4. The name fails to communicate a benefit.
5. The name has no secondary message beyond "blue plus yellow": there's no embedded meaning of "business," "work," or "project."
6. The name sounds like baby talk—a serious handicap when your target audience is adults working together on business projects.
7. Counting on your customers' nostalgia for an American TV show that was canceled in 2006 is, to put it mildly, pushing it. And irrelevant.
I've said it before (here, for example): portmanteaus, or word blends, are the easy default for novice namers, yet they're the hardest ones to pull off successfully. Allan Metcalf, in Predicting New Words, cites a study that found that while more than half of all new words result from making compounds (two complete words joined together, such as moonlighting) or adding prefixes or suffixes (such as shopaholic), "blends that use just parts of words rarely succeed, accounting for only about 5 percent of new words." Smog (smoke plus fog) is a rare example of a successful blend; earnest attempts that ended in failure have included linner (lunch/dinner) and plerk (play/work).
If I'd had any doubt that the naming of Blellow was a strictly DIY operation, that doubt was dispelled by a recent post on the company's blog. The team had tried and failed to create a tagline for the company (no doubt using the same shooting-in-the-dark process that led to "Blellow"), so they're inviting reader submissions. Their top ten ideas are as bad in their way as the company name, with the slight advantage of using real English words:
- Network. Collaborate. Get Work Done
- Learn. Share. Grow
- Create It Quicker, Better, Together.
In the context of bad choices in naming, I recall from years back a listing of bankruptcy filings in The Baltimore Sun that included a restaurant called Ribs 'n' Things.
Posted by: John McIntyre | May 11, 2009 at 07:13 AM
You're pronouncing it wrong if you sound like you are hurling. It's not "bleah" low. It rhymes with hello. If you can say yellow and mellow, you can say Blellow :D It's really not that hard.
The smiley face isn't silent, it's an "e".
We're still in beta and have only been up since March 13th, almost 8 weeks. Our focus so far has been building the app, testing, and working out all of the bugs.
We will be working on the marketing piece soon and will have our challenges w/ the name.
Thanks for choosing us to be "mocked and pilloried"
Posted by: Mandi Leman | May 11, 2009 at 07:39 AM
I love your theme, Nancy! And I agree -- blellow is a little blech.
There is a window treatment store chain in Metro Boston called "Innuwindow," the name of which has always bugged me. I get that they want you to see "in your window." And I get that it's a pun on "innuendo," but I have never understood the connection between innuendos and one's drapes.
Posted by: mighty red pen | May 11, 2009 at 08:43 AM
Is it just me, or does anyone else have trouble saying 'Blellow'...? Try saying it 3 times fast for extra fun.
It sounds like something cooked up by 11 year olds on a hot summer day in their back yard.
Posted by: Rachel | May 11, 2009 at 11:22 AM
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_cars for an exhaustive list of car names (I like "Goy Advanced Automobile", from Australia) or
http://tinyurl.com/ahhor5 for some car names. Or "Armada" for an SUV (maybe they'll sink too) "Yukon" for where you go for oil to run (just 1 character short of "ruin") it. Personal pet peeve, I guess you gather, is all the SUV names that describe places that are trashed when highways run through them (or worse, off-road vehicles run through them).
Posted by: Diana Howard | May 11, 2009 at 11:52 AM
I'd love to know what you think of POPULOUS, the new name for the group that used to be HOK Sport+Venue+Event (the market leader in design of downtown baseball stadia).
Posted by: NextMoon | May 11, 2009 at 12:23 PM
Rachel: Try saying "Fritinancy" 3 times fast :)
Posted by: Mandi Leman | May 11, 2009 at 12:53 PM
Everyone: Thanks for all the excellent-bad suggestions! Keep 'em coming, and look for a wrap-up post at the end of Bad Brand Names Week.
@John: What was the script at Ribs 'n' Things? "You want things with that?"
@Mighty Red Pen: Perhaps Innuwindow was insinuating that the drapes didn't match the carpet.
@Rachel: Yes, Blellow is a tongue-twister. It's hard to type, too.
@Mandi: You completely missed every point (and joke) I made. And even though "Fritinancy" has four syllables, it's transparently easy to pronounce, even repeatedly.
@Diana: Car names are the gift that keeps on giving, bad-brand-wise. I've always wondered whether the creators of names like Armada (and Cressida, and, come to think, Pandora) have ever cracked a book.
@NextMoon: I'll attempt to tackle Populous in my wrap-up post.
Posted by: Nancy Friedman | May 11, 2009 at 04:53 PM
@nancy While you certainly have a right to your opinion, your comments are particularly mean-spirited & short-sighted about a name & a community that is very fun, lighthearted, talented & extremely helpful. I might ask you, what in the world did Kleenex have to do with tissue, Google have to do with a search engine or an Apple have to do with a computer before those brands became household names? Indeed, I would even go so far as to say that the fact that the names were different made them memorable. With regard to your contention that "Fritinancy" is "transparently easy to pronounce, even repeatedly"... Puleeze, are you serious? You couldn't have been typing that with a straight face. Did you? I'm sure you also would go so far as to say that it's very easy for people to say Fritinancy in foreign languages too. You don't see even a glimpse of a double standard here? :P The fact is that the word fritinancy is NOT easy to say & it doesn't mean anything at all. But it's fun & quirky & sometimes, that's all that's necessary. Lighten up.
Posted by: Candace Blackman | May 11, 2009 at 05:55 PM
@Candace: Thanks for your comment. Since you exhibit an interest in brand names, you may wish to learn more about them. Start here, or read the naming blogs I link to in my blogroll.
As I made clear, I have no issue with the business model behind Blellow. Indeed, I praised it. A good business idea deserves a better name than "Blellow." Any business that names itself "Blellow" is begging to be criticized and, yes, mocked.
Fritinancy is not my business name. It's my blog name. And it's a real word that's pronounced phonetically. I introduced it here: http://is.gd/yYT4
Kleenex is derived from "clean": Kleenex tissues were conceived as a hygienic alternative to handkerchiefs. "-ex" is frequently seen in compounds meant to suggest the future or technology.
Google is an alternate spelling of googol, a mathematical term meaning 1 followed by a hundred zeroes. By extension: a huge search capability.
Apple is an example of an arbitrary mark. It's a real word with no obvious connection to computers or technology, but it suggests something fresh and essential ("an apple a day").
Yes, a strong brand name must be distinctive. It must also be pronounceable and appealing. It must connect with readers and listeners in a way that says: "I want to know more." It must tell an engaging and meaningful story. Blellow fails on the last four counts.
Posted by: Nancy Friedman | May 11, 2009 at 06:23 PM
As a trademark lawyer for nearly 20 years now (gasp!), I can confidently affirm Nancy's assertions above about the strength of the Kleenex, Google and Apple trademarks. They are strong and valuable trademarks precisely BECAUSE they have nothing to do with the products and services they identify - yet the public has irreversibly identified the marks with their products and services, which is precisely the result a company wants when they select an easily-spelled, easily-pronounced, but not descriptive term. While trademark lawyers may sometimes applaud clients for selecting names like Blellow that have no meaning and don't describe the goods or services they identify, believe me, we're realistic - we know these names have to be pronounced and marketed, and so we try, if we're conscientious, to advise our clients to avoid names that simply sound silly when we say them out loud.
Posted by: Jessica | May 11, 2009 at 09:49 PM
Peculiar, but I keep thinking "Saul Blellow" . . .
Posted by: julia7 | May 11, 2009 at 09:59 PM
Let us know what you think or our name. Widgetifyr.com. It's meant to be a web 2.0 joke site, but it turned out to be a very useful site. So useful in fact we even created a Wordpress Widget for Blellow with it.
Posted by: Glenn Bennett | June 03, 2009 at 08:22 PM
Nancy, I think the origins of the name may predate Malcolm in the Middle. Donovan has a song in the sixties. I think it was called Blellow Mellow. No?
Posted by: Axle Davids | June 05, 2009 at 11:26 AM