Our long national nightmare is finally over, mes amis. Let's go shopping! But not for just any old tchtochkes. Let's load up on Obama swag.
Thirsty? NPR's Morning Edition reports that Jones Soda has introduced Orange "You Glad for Change" Soda and that some D.C. bars are pouring Ale to the Chief. Brewery Ommegang of Cooperstown, New York, wanted to name its celebratory quaff Obamagang—a neat multiple pun—but the feds nixed it; the label now reads "Inaugural Ale." You can see the original label art here. (Hat tip: ETBWrites.) Prefer wine? Allow me to pour you a glass of 2005 Yes We Cab!—"elegant and stately, just like Obama himself." Love that illustration. (Hat tip: Karen at Verbatim.)
In the mood for something more caloric? Good news: Ben & Jerry's has created a Yes Pecan! flavor: "amber waves of buttery ice cream with roasted nonpartisan pecans." Proceeds will be donated to the Common Cause Education Fund. (And in the true spirit of nonpartisanship, here are some suggested flavors to honor the Bush, uh, legacy. Hat tip: Karen again.)
Perhaps you'd prefer a more lasting memento. Uncommon Goods is selling an official ballot necklace in sterling silver for just $38:
The ballots featured are either standby-by ballots (used in case the voting machines break down) or absentee, military and special ballots. The double-sided necklace showcases two parties that supported Barack Obama: the Democrat [sic] party and the Working Families Party.
You'd better not be in a hurry, though: this handmade keepsake is back-ordered till Feb. 10. (The McCain-Palin necklace is available a little sooner.)
Uncommon Goods is also selling a framed paper ballot "printed specifically for the old-fashioned, pull-lever voting machines used in New York City": $350. On the opposite end of the spectrum: a Zortz note-holder featuring a slightly scary representation of Obama's head. It's a bargain at $25.
What's that smell? Why, it's Yes We Can fragrance, "directly inspired by Obama's acceptance speech." It contains "notes of celery seed, lavender, citrus accord, and pine," and no, I don't know what "citrus accord" is. The perfume is available for $34 on Etsy.
Another Yes We Can fragrance is for sale on eBay, with no description whatsover, for only $0.99. Tip: Change the name to Eau-bama (change is good!), add some flowery copy, and jack up the price to $25. It'll fly off the shelves.
You can even sleep with your new commander-in-chief. Obama jammies and nightgowns come in adult sizes small through XXL and are 100% cotton flannel. Don't forget the Obama condoms ("for the elitist penis").
And there's much, much more. For a comprehensive list, see Sarah Hepola's compilation over at Salon. She leads with the Obama dildo (talk about a stimulus package!) and proceeds:
There is the Obama votive candle, the Obama nesting dolls, the Obama wall hanging. And lest you feel hampered by details, rest assured that an Obama product doesn't even have to actually resemble Obama: It could resemble a rather frightening Bill Cosby. Or a very tan Ed Sullivan. Or, umm, whatever this guy is.
What a great country, huh?
When I saw the "Yes We Cab" graphic, my first thought was that it was a poster celebrating the fact that a black person can now get a taxi in New York. I wasn't sure that Obama had that kind of power, but it was still a nice idea.
Alas, just wine.
Posted by: Jon Carroll | January 20, 2009 at 12:04 PM
How could you have missed the Obama soap on a rope?
http://nicedeb.wordpress.com/2008/12/30/uggghhh-obama-soap-on-a-rope/
Posted by: David | January 20, 2009 at 03:48 PM
@David: I didn't mention it because Sarah Hepola did in the article I quote. (It's the Etsy link--"whatever this guy is.")
Posted by: Nancy Friedman | January 20, 2009 at 03:55 PM
The "whatever this guy is" soap on a rope guy is truly scary! It's also odd that they say he comes on a black rope, but in the picture it's white.
Posted by: Alan Palmer | January 22, 2009 at 10:57 AM
Nancy,
Before you start shedding tears of happiness again, just a reminder that peace has not broken out, the world in NOT about to start loving us (as is clear to anyone who has truly experienced the world outside the Bay Area), and the New Era is new only in the lore of the Left:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVSlVaxfZlA
http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/asiapcf/01/23/pakistan.missile/
Cheers,
J
Posted by: Jan Muzykant | January 23, 2009 at 11:58 AM