Because, you know, I'm talking about you.
What? Not even a tingle?
Here's something that ought to raise the temperature: a little Passion.
I'll enunciate clearly: the Passion is a highly intelligent hearing instrument with Receiver-in-Canal (RIC) technology and precise Integrated Signal Processing (ISP)
Got it? Passion is a hearing aid, one of several new brands being marketed to a rapidly growing market of Boomers who stood in the front row of one too many rock concerts. And who don't flinch at spending $2,800 to $4,000 per ear to reclaim their sonic youth.
According to a four-page insert in my daily newspaper, the Passion, from Widex, is "virtually invisible" and "the world's smallest hearing aid." Curiously, although the device disappears inside the ear canal, it's offered "in a luxurious selection of 12 top shell colors with gold and platinum detailing"--perhaps in case you choose to wear your Passion on your sleeve.
Widex's launch effort is straightforward compared to last year's major hearing-device introduction, the Audéo from Phonak. (I wrote about the Audéo's in-your-face ad campaign here.) Unlike Phonak, Widex uses old-fashioned marketing language and conventional images of youngish, satisfied-looking customers. It proclaims the Passion to be "the #1 new hearing aid of the year," a phrase the company has somehow managed to trademark. (Widex has also trademarked "ear candy" and "lifestyle saver," and illustrates the product next to small round candies.)
But the call to action is unintentionally amusing: "LET US SHOW YOU HOW SMALL THE PASSION REALLY IS!"
When it comes to passion, my own motto is: go big or go home.
Seriously, though, "Passion" strikes me as an off-target name for a hearing aid, even for one that comes in a dozen colors.
As I know from watching older relatives endure countless frustrating experiences, buyers of hearing aids aren't shopping for excitement: they want quality, comfort, clarity, and reliability. Those primary benefits are better communicated by the names of Passion's high-tech competitors: Audéo, Dot from ReSound, Pure from Siemens, and--my favorite--Lyric from InSound Medical. Respectively, those names say hearing, precision, simplicity, and sweet music.
In general, I'm guessing that Widex's strong suit is technology, not nomenclature. Other Widex model names include Inteo (OK, but not strongly evocative), Senso (a bit generic), and Senso Diva. (Yes, our dear friend Diva!) And there's a Bravo and a Bravissimo--gee, wonder which one I'd rather own?
Then there's Widex itself, which looks disconcertingly like Windex while suggesting a rather uncomfortable amplitude.
As for Passion, let's not forget that the word's original meaning is suffering, as in "the passion of Christ." And consider all that passion connotes in contemporary English: Volatility. Jealousy. Crimes of.
Of course, longtime readers already know my stated objections to the promiscuous use of passion in non-boudoir contexts. Newcomers can catch up here.
"Acoustic appliances" (Sears, Roebuck catalog) from here.