Are you a fan of bluegrbutt music? Do you own a peniser spaniel? Are you concerned about terrorist enbreasties in North Korea and Iran?
Congratulations: your computer is protecting you from naughty word bits.
Language Hat (a k a Steve Dodson) reports on nanny software that automatically replaces "ass," "cock," "tit," "sex," and "shit"--wherever they appear in words--with supposedly safe synonyms. It's the sort of penisamamie thing that results in actual sentences like "I know the difference between a transvesbreaste and a homoloveual."
Or as they say in Peru, "Meet you on the shores of Lake Breastifeces."
Steve Dodson knows whereof he speaks: He's the coauthor of Uglier Than a Monkey's Armpit, a book of "insults, put-downs and curses from around the world." It was published last December in England; while we await the U.S. edition, we can entertain ourselves with a sampling that includes the Icelandic prumphænsn (PRUHMP-hine-s’n)--literally, "fartchicken." My own favorite non-English insult is pendejo (pen-DAY-ho), Spanish for "pubic hair." It's an all-purpose epithet for anyone beneath contempt.