In English, Not So Good

Names that must have seemed like terrific ideas in their languages of origin:

1. I'm not 100 percent sure, but I'm guessing that in the original Italian, Milldue is a contraction of mille due, which means "one thousand two." The Italian pronunciation of the brand would be meel-DOO-eh. Unfortunately, this manufacturer of expensive bathroom fixtures--I repeat, bathroom fixtures--now sells its wares in English-speaking countries, where the pronunciation is likely to rhyme with "ill poo" and the association with unwelcome greenery (note sponsored links) is not a big image-booster. (Hat tip to Going Like Sixty.)

2. Our Italian comrades have also given us a kitchen-appliance company with the unfortunate name Smeg. A U.S. distributor helpfully tells us that the name "is an acronym for Smalterie Metallurgiche Emiliane Guastalla"--translated, "an enamelling factory in the village of Guastalla in the province of Emilia in Northern Italy." Smeg's products are stylish: check out these '50s-design refrigerators, which are cute, petite (9.22 cubic feet), and pricey (about $2,000). But oh, that name. There's just no way around the association with genital secretions. In the kitchen. Ick.

3. Apparently Incesoft, a robot manufacturer based in Shanghai, based the first half of its name on the acronym for Infinity Nature Communication Experience. But like The Name Inspector I can't help seeing "inappropriate intrafamilial contact" there. On the other hand, I was charmed by the earnestness of this awkwardly Englished product description: Online Robots Union is trying to be a good robot platform for company's and individual's robots. Company and individual developers can submit their robots here, share your ideas and enjoy funs. Here is also a good marketing platform for your products and services.

4. Anyone up on his or her Black Death lore knows what a bubo is: a swollen inflamed lymph node, especially in the groin or armpit.(From Greek boubon, meaning groin or swollen groin.) The adjectival form is bubonic, as in bubonic plague. In Latin, however, bubo means owl, which is what gave someone in California's wine country the bright idea of naming a winery Bubo Cellars.

Jessica Stone Levy, a trademark lawyer who blogs at Beauty Marks, reports that she "happened upon a bottle of Bubo Pinot Grigio today, and recoiled in horror." Jessica writes: "Listen, your product name can have a suggestive and evocative meaning in a dead language, and on that basis make a great trademark, but that's all worth nothing if the mark means something completely disgusting in English."

Comments

[Orange]

Does Smeg makes wine fridges where we can store our Buboes? "Honey, could you grab the white Bubo out of the Smeg?"

[Nicholas]

There's an orange juice in France called Pschitt (the p is silent) and in, I believe, Sweden a chocolate dessert unfortunately named Plopp.

[Jessica]

Good thing I wasn't right in the middle of swilling some Bubo, Orange! That cracked me right up. Meanwhile, Nancy, you read my mind: I was just out shopping (research, really!) and saw a shoe called Pishro. Looks like it may be an Iranian brand, so it's likely they didn't know that "pishen" is Yiddish for "to pee." Is there a market for incontinence footwear?

[Sallie Goetsch (rhymes with]

Oh, these are painful. And Italian is such a beautiful language. Even apart from the meaning in English (sufficently obscure that it's probably only we intellectuals who will cringe), can you hear the thud of "SMEG" in the middle of an Italian sentence?

[Vera]

I once saw a list of unfortunate foreign product names in a book. Along with "Pschitt" and "Plopp," other gems were "Pipi" (a Yugoslavian orange drink -- this was a long time ago, before Yugoslavia broke up), "Shitto" (a pepper sauce from Ghana -- and there may be some truth in advertising there), "Colon Plus" (a laundry detergent from Spain), and "My Fanny" (Japanese toilet paper).