I promised myself I’d ignore April Fools’ Day this year, but Betabrand shattered my resolve.
Remember Betabrand? It’s the sassy San Francisco company that brought us the Vagisoft blanket, a real, year-round product I wrote about in December 2010. (Since then, Betabrand’s “VagiLab” has added unisex Vajamas and Vagisoft hoodies to the range.)
This morning, Betabrand emailed me to announce a very special new product: Adult Adult Undergarments, an “innovation in absorption couture.”
The before-and-after photos depict a grizzled, slightly seedy-looking guy wearing, stage left, a pair of gray incontinence briefs and, stage right, some va-va-voom leopard-print skivvies.
The copy displays the usual Betabrand bravado:
Gentlemen: When the forecast calls for a sizzling hot night, you want to make sure there’s 0% chance of precipitation.
So don’t settle for ordinary adult undergarments when you can slip on new Adult Adult Undergarments. Super sexy, super absorbent, and available in three come-hither styles.
- Jungle Lord: Like a big cat, you’re always on the prowl. Now get ready to mark your territory, discreetly.
- Outlaw: You’re not the kind of guy who plays by the rules, especially the rule that says you can’t urinate in your pants.
- The Dry Martini: Leave your lover shaken and stirred.
Naturally, there’s an absorption-demonstration photo. Naturally, it uses blue liquid. But not just any blue liquid.
The brand still lacks a name, so feel free to leave your suggestion in the comments. My favorite so far, for its combination of erudition and zaniness:
“Piadese” (pee at ease) after the greek urinating cherub. OR name after the iconic statue of “Menneken Pis” (urinating cherub) by Hieronymus Duquesnoy was created in commission of the city council of Brussels after an earlier 14th century example.
Elsewhere in Betabrand foolery: the first-ever Cheezburger Clothes for Cats Collection.
Note: I cannot guarantee that the Betabrand links will be operational after 11:59 p.m. (Pacific) April 1.