Fritinancy

Mister, Mister, Mister

It’s time once again for a round of mister-y brand names!

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Mr. Tomato Bloody Mary mix (“the mix with an attitude”) is distributed by Crosby Lake Spirits Company.

I haven’t been able to enlarge the mascot sufficiently to tell whether it’s a smirking tomato or a sneering pepper.

Hat tip to Jessica Stone Levy, who blogged recently about another brand from Crosby Lake Spirits: Kinky Liqueur. (“To enter this site you must be of legal drinking age. And irresistibly fabulous.”)

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No cutesy mascot or winking copy for Mr.Beer (spacing sic). No About Us or FAQ, either. Just kits and gear for the home-brewing aficionado, who – if the community forum is an accurate guide – is likely to answer to “mister” himself.

 

Mr.Beer was acquired last April by 150-year-old Coopers Brewery, Australia’s largest brewery and the world’s largest maker of home-brew beer.

(Via MJF.)

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If you like your upcycled products with a Scandinavian aesthetic and a dash of cuuuute, you’ll love mr Tedi. If you care about writing and editing ... not so much.

Available for $80 each on Etsy.

Charming design. Lovely photography. But that word is spelled “lovable” (or “re-lovable”) …

… and this word is spelled “huggable” …

… and there’s an apostrophe in “Valentine’s Day.”

mr Tedi (capitalization and punctuation sic) is made by a company called mrs [sic] Jermyn. The company’s founder, Annika, is from Finland; perhaps she wrote her own copy and isn’t 100 percent fluent in English, but that doesn’t explain the failure to hire a proofreader. (Penny wise, Euro foolish.) And it definitely doesn’t excuse the biggest error of all: misspelling your own company’s name:

Here’s my standard rant: Polishing your copy is not optional. Language is every bit as much a part of your brand identity as your name, your logo, your website, and your product design. Carelessly written, unedited copy tells me you’re not serious about your professional image.

How Twinkies Got Its Name

Hostess Brands Inc., the 82-year-old snack-foods company based in Irving, Texas, announced today that it will close its plants and fire all 18,000 of its workers. The company had filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection in January. The corporate website says the company “was forced by a Bakers Union strike” to shut down. The union says the claim is false.

Hostess—founded in Missouri in 1930 as Interstate Bakeries Corporation—had been the largest wholesale baker and distributor of baked goods in the United States. Its many brands included Wonder Bread, Dolly Madison, Ho Hos, Sno Balls, Ding Dongs, and Colombo, but the company’s most famous product name may have been Twinkies, the “golden sponge cake with creamy filling” with a seemingly limitless shelf life.

Why was it called “Twinkies”? Serendipity.

 

Via Chicago Tribune.

According to a Chicago Tribune story, the first Twinkies “bounced out of the ovens at Continental Baking Co.” in River Forest, Illinois, in 1930:

Plant manager James Dewar was looking to create a cheap, two-for-a nickel snack. So he grabbed some shortcake pans and got cookin’. Dewar got the name from a billboard for Twinkle Toe Shoes. He shortened it to Twinkies, and the rest is snack food history.

That history took a grim turn during the 1979 trial of Dan White, the San Francisco supervisor who assassinated Mayor George Moscone and a fellow supervisor, Harvey Milk. White’s defense lawyers argued that their client’s mental capacity had been damaged by his excessive consumption of junk food. No specific food product was ever mentioned in the courtroom, but reporters coined “Twinkie defense” as shorthand for the argument. The term survives “as a derisive term for an improbable legal defense” (Wikipedia).

The sausage-shaped character on the Twinkies package has a name: Twinkie the Kid. A registered trademark since 1971, it was used in commercials and in collectible products, which are probably going to become a little more collectible.

Today’s Chicago Tribune has a slide show of 15 “iconic” Hostess products, including Holsum bread, which at one point used this dandy slogan:

“If you had a million dollars you couldn’t buy better bread.”

According to a Wikipedia entry, “Holsum” was used by many retail bakeries in the early 20th century, when whimsical phonetic brand spellings were all the rage. (See my August 2011 Visual Thesaurus column, “Phood for Thought,” for more examples.) In 1908, the W.E. Long Company of Chicago acquired exclusive rights to the name. Holsum bread is still sold; its mascot, Mr. Slice, was created in 1976.

UPDATE: At Duets Blog, trademark lawyer Dan Kelly considers the post-dissolution fate of Hostess Brand’s many marks.

Names in the Wild: Olvera Street

Olvera Street (Calle Olvera) is the oldest street in Los Angeles, dating back to the city’s founding in 1781. Situated opposite Union Station and named for Los Angeles County’s first judge, Agustín Olvera, the street has been a tourist-friendly “Mexican marketplace” since 1930. It’s artificial (the commercial strip was planned and executed by a wealthy Anglo, Christine Stirling) yet also authentic (several historic buildings still stand). In other words, it’s a living metaphor of Los Angeles.

On a recent trip to L.A. I visited Olvera Street for the first time in many years. I found much unchanged (a few establishments, like La Luz del Día restaurant, have been around since the 1950s), while other things have adapted to changing times.

There were lots of Día de los Muertos items for sale, including these same-sex wedding-cake toppers.

 

A “Who Would Jesus Deport?” T-shirt.

 

Painted-tile bathroom sign in Spanglish.

 

I’m not sure why it’s “Mr.” Churro and not “Señor,” but the name does fit the bilingual flavor of the rest of the sign. And of course I’m always happy to meet a Mr. business name in the wild.

 

This mug was one of many souvenirs bearing the “Latina – Proud, Educated and Powerful!” motto. It appeared to be a girls-only phenomenon.

 

If you haven’t found a parking sign with your child’s name, maybe you’ve been shopping in the wrong place.

 

Travel note: I recommend taking one of the Metro Line (rapid-transit) trains into Union Station and wandering around to admire the spectacular Spanish Colonial Revival architecture and décor. While you’re on Olvera Street, allow some time to view the long-hidden fresco by the great Mexican artist David Alfaro Siqueiros (1896-1974). Originally unveiled in October 1932, the painting was whitewashed shortly afterward to obscure its “radical” subject matter. After more than 40 years of planning and preservation work, it reopened to public viewing earlier this month.

Misters in Our Midst

My love affair with “Mr.” names continues, abetted by my brother Michael, who forwarded the first three examples in today’s post.

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Mr. Food is on TV, but not in my metropolitan area, so I’d never made his acquaintance until recently. His (its? their?) trademarked slogan is “OOH IT’S SO GOOD!!” As in “The Amish people haven’t lost sight of those core family dinner values that result in food filled with that ‘OOH IT’S SO GOOD!!®’”

 

 

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Got leftovers? Stock up on Mr. Lid containers with attached—duh!—lids.

 

“Mr.” name—check. Cute/weird mascot—check. But wait, there’s more: a catchy jingle at the end of the video!

 

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In the unlikely event that you have trouble opening Mr. Lid, get yourself Mr. 7 Hands, “a screwdriver replacement” and so much more.

 

Too bad they didn’t name it “Mr. Screw.”

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Then there’s Mr. Tire, which has 800 stores in 19 states (but none in California). The company is famous for its trompe l’oeil truck photos. Heads up!

(Via Copyranter)

Happy Independence Day to my USian readers! I’ll be back later in the week.

 

Hey, Mister!

For your frittering pleasure: a Flickr set of “weird advertising characters” that’s a nostalgiafest, a kitschapalooza, and a bizarrorama. Step right up and see the seppuku-ing pig, the martini-sipping pink poodle, the shockingly un-PC Frito Bandito, the Doggie Diner doggie, the Chicken of the Sea mermaid, and much, much more.

Including, I’m happy to report, a trove of “mister” names and mascots.

 

Mr. Sketch water color markers. Credit: Waffle Whiffer. (Read my Visual Thesaurus column about other “sketch” trademarks!)

 

Mr. Chicken Plank. No idea what he was selling, but he had a companion called Miss Fish Fillet. Credit: Waffle Whiffer.

 

Mister Provolone, an Italian brand. Do you suppose he’s met Mister Baby? Credit: Zellaby.

 

Mr. Blobby marshmallows, a UK brand from the 1990s. They’re blobbilicious! Credit: Jason Liebig.

 

 

You could get blintzes at Mr. Perky’s! Tray liner, c. 1960s. Credit: Poptartsbox

Mr. Melon watermelon candy. Credit: Wafflewhiffer.

 

Mr. Contac, pill-head. Credit: Isle of Lucy.

 

There’s also a quite charming but non-downloadable Mr. Pickle photo. And in the non-mister category, I’m awfully fond of Pump ’n’ Munch.

Via AdFreak.

Names in Brief

Speaking of “mister” names—as we were only yesterday—I’ve learned about another one from reader Licia, who’s a translator in Italy. Mister Baby, writes Licia, “has been on the Italian market since 1964 and it is a household name; it now belongs to British multinational Reckitt Benckiser (which, incidentally, also produce Mr Sheen).” Mister Baby sells products for babies (of both sexes, it seems) and for nursing mothers.

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Friends don’t let friends drink and text, but that hasn’t deterred TXT Cellars from creating “a line of wines dedicated to celebrating the ordinary and not so ordinary moments in life when you just need to LOL!!!” (Via @ahundredmonkeys.)

Screwtops, of course. Because it’s RLY HRD to operate a corkscrew while you’re texting, amirite?

 

Just for kicks, click “No, I am not 21” on the opening screen.

Read the Washington Post’s guest columnist Jason Wilson on the wine-drinking habits of millennials. And check out The Hairpin’s list of hypothetical rejected names for TXT wines.

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Take the quiz: Condom or Android phone? (Via Lance Knobel.) Congratulations to The Intercom Blog for sticking with tradition and using “What’s in a Name?” for the title of that post. Fifty thousand other headline writers can’t be wrong!

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Speaking of unoriginality, here’s another startup with an -ly name: Swipely. According to TechCrunch, “The company first launched as a way to share your credit card purchases with your friends, but when that idea (as deployed by Swipely and others) failed to take off, Swipely shifted its focus to helping merchants with their loyalty programs.” By my count, that brings us to 50 -ly startups, and let us say: Enoughly.

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In my February post about the bra-fitting service Brayola, I traced the commercial use of the -ola suffix back to Pianola (1895), Crayola (1903), and Victrola (1905). But it turns out there’s an even earlier example. Granola, now a generic term for a crunchy oat-based breakfast cereal, was originally a trademark. According to “Who Made That Granola?” in last week’s New York Times Magazine, John Harvey Kellogg—whose name lives on in the Kellogg’s brand—came up with “granola” in the late 1870s or early 1880s after he was sued by a rival who made “granula” and objected to Kellogg’s use of that spelling. By 1889, according to the article, Kellogg was selling two tons of Granola a week. (Tangentially, Grano.la is the name of a power-management software product. Dot-la is the country code for Laos.)

"Oui, Oui, Oui" All the Way Home

There’s only one little piggy in this set of combat-ready bendable toys. Monsieur Tofu is a “soy boy.”

 

Front of package.

 

Back of package.

 

Naturally, I get a kick out of “Mr. Bacon”: as some of you know, I’m very fond of “mister” names. But why is the tofu dressed as Mr. Peanut? And what’s up with “Monsieur”?

Tofu is Asian, of course, not French, unless you think of tofu as soy cheese—which it is, sort of—and you think of all cheese as French. (Remember Bart Simpson’s “cheese-eating surrender monkeys”?) But does that explain “Monsieur Tofu”? I don’t think so.

Here’s my best guess: Tofu is stigmatized as fancy-pants food for pinky-bending snobs, and “monsieur” is code for “elite” and “effete.” Never mind that you can buy tofu at Walmart, or that a pound of tofu costs less than half of what a pound of bacon costs.

In a different decade, they might have gotten away with calling Mr. Bacon’s opponent “Tofu-San.” Today a Japanese stereotype is unacceptable. Caricaturing the French, though—that’s perfectly kosher. Which is more than you can say about Mr. Bacon.

I found “Mr. Bacon vs. Monsieur Tofu” at Powell’s Sweet Shoppe in Berkeley. You can also buy it from Archie McPhee.

Mr. Tea

This teapot-teacup nesting set tickles so many of my fancies: it’s a pop-culture reference; a mister name; a pun; and a practical, ingenious design. And it makes me laugh.

 

“Currently being made” by Etsy seller LennyMud.

The same Etsy seller also makes this version, which is sold out at the moment.

The pink color is a nice touch.

And there’s a 16-ounce mug, too.

 

The real Mr. T—born Lawrence Tureaud in 1952—is still around. He wrestled and played football in high school, served in the US Army, then worked as a nightclub bouncer, where he created his Mr. T persona. (He wore gold chains and other jewelry that had been lost or left behind by customers.) He had small roles in movies (DC Cab, Rocky III), but his big break came when he joined the cast of The A-Team, the NBC action-adventure series that ran from 1983 to 1986. As Sgt. B.A. Baracus—“B.A.” stood for “Bad Ass”—his signature line was “I pity the fool.”

Photo from I Pity the Blog.

According to his official bio, Mr. T doesn’t drink alcohol. Whether or not he enjoys tea is not noted.

Mr. Bra

As I’ve acknowledged, I have a soft spot for “Mr.” names. Mr. Peanut? Mr. Espresso? Mr. Sandwich? Mr. Nature? Mr. Zipper? Mr. Bling Bling? Love ’em all.

But I’m pretty sure I draw the line at “Mr. Bra.”

 

 

“I’ve fitted 10-, 12-, 13-year-old girls,” says Mr. Bra. And a little later on: “I’ve sold bartenders this bra!” If you make it to 13:26 you’ll see a sign announcing “Breast Forms Silocone [sic] or Foam,” followed by Mr. Bra dancing with a large synthetic breast and chanting “Call me Mr. Bra, call me Mr. Bra, call me Mr. Breast Form.”

You have been warned.

I haven’t found Mr. Bra’s real name anywhere on his website (another warning: barfogenic zone), which is otherwise very comprehensive (mastectomy bras, transgender bras, lymphedema bra, zipper girdles, padded underpants, history of corsets, “guide to breast care and health for PLUS SIZE women,” etc., etc.). But if you’re in Phoenix you can check out his shop—it’s at 3247 East Thomas—and ask him yourself. He’s also on Twitter.

Via The Hairpin.

Related: “I Know! Let’s Put the Word ‘Flat’ in the Name of Our New Bra!” (via Dustbury)

Nature Boy

I picked up a bag of this after donating blood last week:

 

Made by the Mr. Nature company, Los Angeles.

...and immediately got nostalgic for last year's post about "Mister" brand names. (And for Nama Sutra's later homage.)

And then I remembered something I hadn't thought about in years:

Mr. Natural, by R. Crumb.

And then I thought, wait. When did Mom get married?

"Mother Nature Is a M.I.L.F.," from Zazzle

There's a women's version, too.