The more I see this ad for the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer – it’s been all over San Francisco for a while now – the more I want to whip out a blue pencil.
“The more of us who walk, the more of us survive.”™
As I see it, the line needs a second relative pronoun to be properly parallel in structure: “The more of us who walk, the more of us who survive.”
It could also be rewritten more straightforwardly: “If more of us walk, more of us survive.” (I’m not arguing for the truth or even the logic of the statement, just the grammar.)
Don’t even get me started on “walk for breast cancer.” I still say it should be against.
UPDATE, March 14: For a much more learned analysis of the subject, see Neal Whitman’s post, “Correlatively Comparatively Speaking, Part II.”