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September 14, 2010

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I think an em dash would work quite nicely there.

Jonathon: I considered an em dash, too, but decided that for ad copy, it wasn't strong enough. Sometimes I wear my copywriting hat; sometimes I wear my grammar-snoot hat.

I was thinking an em dash too. But you are right as always. A period creates the proper rythm. It's a real stretch to call Coca Cola® “part of the fabric of our communities”? A good beer maybe, but soda pop is just fizzy and sweet. (Personally,I prefer Safeway brand seltzer water. With a shot of bourbon.)

Em dash was my first stop, pun intended, and I bow to your refined taste. But you can't put lipstick on inert sugar, period.

A period does work nicely for rhythm's sake. But I vote for a colon: it's not as histrionic as an em dash, and it creates a subtle connection that's lacking with the period.

Green Caret: Nothing wrong with a colon, grammatically speaking, but it's too formal for a soft-drink ad. I still say a period is the best choice here.

An appalling example of 'graphic artists rule, OK'. But I blame whichever marketeer signed it off -- because we all know graphic artists are illiterate: it's written into their job description.

Taking this apart, I think I know how this happened. Swapping the comma and full stop (period)would have meant graphically the headline would have needed to run to an extra line, "...which wouldn't have looked as good" (graphic artist speaking). I can see him/her stamping his/her feet even as I write.

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