Fritinancy

Scare Quote

Well, it certainly alarmed me:

At the moment I noticed the slogan—on the side of a recruiting van for the Oakland Police Department, as it turned out—I wasn't thinking about anything excerpt merging into the left-hand lane, but I immediately began wondering, "More what?" More exhausting? More aggravating? More migraine-inducing? Probably all of the above, knowing Oakland as I do.

On the other hand, I could almost hear the immortal Inigo Montoya muttering disapprovingly, "I do not think it means what you think it means." Let's accentuate the positive! Perhaps "more" means "more rewarding," "more exciting," even "more doughnuts." Who knows?

Because ...  those quotation marks. They worry me. Slogans are supposed to be declarations of fact, not snippets of overheard dialogue. The punctuation renders the slogan slightly shady, somewhat second-hand.

And then there's the tacit assumption that the slogan-writer knows what I think. Just a little high-handed, no?

By the way, the OPD recruiting site is a different entity from the regular OPD site, which appears to have been designed and programmed by someone's nephew taking his first community-college Web class. I know Oakland is hurting, but this is an embarrassment.

For the record, my favorite unofficial Oakland slogan is this one. Don't bother to search for it; it appears on a T-shirt I bought about 15 years ago and have never seen since.

That's my town!

Making Some Changes

A couple of bloggish announcements:

1. I'm decreasing the frequency of my posts, effective immediately. I will continue to post the Word of the Week and will publish occasional posts (twice a week? once a week? can't say for sure) on naming and branding topics. I hope you'll continue to check in and contribute to the conversation. And speaking of conversation...

2. I've reluctantly reinstituted comment moderation. If you have something interesting to say about naming, branding, or writing, your comment will be published. If you have questions about spelling or usage, please look them up (GrammarGirl is a good resource; so are the many online dictionaries) or send me an e-mail. If you have a political axe to grind, please go elsewhere.

P.S. You can still follow me on Twitter, where I'm as chatty as ever.

Word of the Week: Zombie

Zombie: A reanimated human corpse that feeds on human flesh (in some accounts favoring brains). The word probably originated in West Africa and was brought to the West Indies by slaves who practiced Voudon ("voodoo"). According to Etymology Online, it has cognates in Kikongo (zumbi, "fetish") and Kimbundu (nzandi, "god"). The word entered English in 1871, but the concept appeared much earlier in western fiction. At least one critic has argued that Edgar Allan Poe's "The Fall of the House of Usher" (1839) was the basis of modern zombie mythology.

Zombie—the word and the idea—is enjoying a cultural moment. (The last such moment occurred between the late 1970s and the mid-1980s, ushered in by George Romero's Dawn of the Dead and Day of the Dead. Michael Jackson's zombie-populated 1983 "Thriller" video  successfully spoofed the genre.) The Cranberries' "Zombie" (1994), a political protest song, kept the word alive in pop culture, but the current wave of interest in zombies seems to have been triggered by the 2002 release of 28 Days Later, a post-apocalyptic film in which a virus transforms living humans into zombies. It was followed in 2007 by a sequel, 28 Weeks Later.  In October 2008, Republican presidential candidate John McCain told Radar Online's Ana Marie Cox 28 Weeks Later was the most recent movie he'd watched.

"28 Weeks Later?" I asked. "The one about a zombie plague in London that has some not very subtle allusions to Gitmo?"

"Yeah, that one," he said. "I liked the first one, too."

"The one that was sort of about the effects of government-propelled hysteria that happened to come out after 9/11?"

He shrugged. "A lot of those zombie movies are political, you know."

Even more popular than the 28 movies has been the video game Left 4 Dead, which was released in 2008. It pits survivors of a global pandemic against hordes of zombies. Developer Valve Corporation launched the game with a $10 million marketing campaign that included a "Dude, Where's My Thumb?" photo contest.

But it's the ongoing global financial crisis that has truly reanimated "zombie." References to zombie banks and zombie companies have proliferated over the last 12 months. "The threat of zombies here and now is real," wrote Alyce Lomax in the Motley Fool blog last week:

That is, the zombie banks and zombie corporations that are artificially kept alive even though in any rational, natural world they should be dead. And if these reanimated corpses are still stumbling around, growing greater and greater in number, well, I'm pretty sure we all know what appears to be causing the dead to rise.

UPDATE: My friends on Facebook (who are not my Facebook Friends, because I have so far resisted the pull of Facebook) inform me that there's a wildly popular FB widget called Zombies.

In a Jan. 18 column titled "Wall Street Voodoo," New York Times op-ed columnist and Nobel Prize winner Paul Krugman wrote about a hypothetical bank, "Gothamgroup":

On paper, Gotham has $2 trillion in assets and $1.9 trillion in liabilities, so that it has a net worth of $100 billion. But a substantial fraction of its assets — say, $400 billion worth — are mortgage-backed securities and other toxic waste. If the bank tried to sell these assets, it would get no more than $200 billion.

So Gotham is a zombie bank: it’s still operating, but the reality is that it has already gone bust. Its stock isn’t totally worthless — it still has a market capitalization of $20 billion — but that value is entirely based on the hope that shareholders will be rescued by a government bailout.

"Zombie" also crops up outside the financial pages, as shorthand for anything that persists in a parasitic manner. ZDNet offered "7 Tips to Safely Kill Zombie Projects" ("Walking-dead IT projects, also known as zombies, should be killed off — putting these suckers out of their misery is the right thing to do"). The Fanboy blog accused self-proclaimed social media experts of zombie behavior:

The drone level zombies then start to stalk any innocent Twitter user they can find. ...  Most start out by doing this to each other, but before long they need to prey on the flesh of the living.

Books can be zombies, according to The Morning News, which made this announcement about its Tournament of Books, a March Madness-style competition:

[W]e’ve made a modification to the Zombie Round, that late-in-the-game bracket where two books left for dead get a second chance at competing. In the past, these books were determined by reader votes prior to the tournament, but then kept secret as the tournament progressed. This year, you’ll still be voting beforehand for your favorites, but now you will be apprised of the Zombie contenders from day one of match-play, that way you can keep track of which two books may rise from the grave, angry and reanimated.

I've even seen a reference to "Zombie perfume," ("It wouldn't die!"), spritzed by an overenthusiastic department store salesperson.

List of zombie films. (My favorite title: Angry and Moist.)

Learn how to mix a Zombie cocktail.

Update: Even Savage Chickens is on the zombie bandwagon.

Obama's Inaugural Speech

"It was grave but not doleful, resolute but not belligerent, eloquent but not grandiloquent. Its acknowlegments were eclectic: Biblical allusions, a nod to Tom Paine, a shout-out to Jerome Kern.

"But it wasn’t especially memorable."

Linguist Geoff Nunberg explains why that's actually a good thing. And gives a quick and engaging lesson in rhetoric while he's at it. (You can also listen to Nunberg delivering a slightly shorter version of the essay on Fresh Air.)

Correction of the Week

From the New York Times Dining & Wine section, Jan. 21, 2009:

An article last Wednesday about the French food critic François Simon misinterpreted the idiom “un étouffe-chrétien,” a diner’s criticism of macaroons that Mr. Simon prepared at a Paris restaurant. The diner was saying that they “could choke a Christian,” meaning they were hard to swallow; he was not calling them “stuffed Christians,” that is to say, too heavy.

If I recall my own French and Spanish studies correctly, "Christian" is sometimes used in Romance languages (and others?) in a generic, nonreligious sense as a synonym for "person."

Here's a bit of discussion of étouffe-chrétien.

And in other French news, here's my pick for headline of the week (from the Daily Mail, UK, not The Onion):

Former French President Chirac hospitalised

after mauling by his clinically depressed poodle

The article actually refers to the dog as a Maltese, which is a breed distinct from poodles; the photo would appear to corroborate that identification.

The Sky Is Falling!

First the Inaugalypse, now this:

Get your daily Savage Chickens fix here.

If Not Now, When?

Yesterday's frivolous blog post notwithstanding, I was deeply moved by the Inauguration and all that it portends. I found myself in tears throughout the day, and I welled up again this morning when I read this New York Times article about Barack Obama's amazing extended family.

A few reflections, and then I must turn to a small mountain of work and turn the comments over to you.

As you probably know, I'm a big fan of San Francisco Chronicle columnist Jon Carroll. He followed the Inauguration and devoted today's column to it. Among the passages that jumped out at me:

It is one of Obama's great strengths, I think, that he is also aware of the savagery that this country has produced, and he chooses not to dwell on it. What he is dealing with is too vast for malicious dealing. This is likely to irritate a lot of people, because politics is a blood sport, and we like to see our enemies confounded and shamed.

When I heard Elizabeth Alexander read her Inaugural poem, I admired her delivery but was disappointed by what struck me as its flat prosiness. (I wasn't alone.) But I find I'm enjoying reading it on the page.

ReadWriteWeb has created word clouds of Obama's Inaugural speech and of those of several of his predecessors, including Abraham Lincoln.

Here's what I heard in the speech, with its call for responsibility, individual and shared: echoes of a first-century Babylonian Jewish teacher, Rabbi Hillel. Now, I am not a religious person—in fact, I was thrilled that Obama acknowledged us nonbelievers in his address, a first for presidential speeches, I think. But you don't have to believe in a deity to live by Hillel's credo, which, like much Jewish dialogue, consists of a series of questions:

If I am not for myself, who will be for me?

If I am only for myself, what am I?

And if not now, when?

Barackollectibles

Our long national nightmare is finally over, mes amis. Let's go shopping! But not for just any old tchtochkes. Let's load up on Obama swag.

Thirsty? NPR's Morning Edition reports that Jones Soda has introduced Orange "You Glad for Change" Soda and that some D.C. bars are pouring Ale to the Chief. Brewery Ommegang of Cooperstown, New York, wanted to name its celebratory quaff Obamagang—a neat multiple pun—but the feds nixed it; the label now reads "Inaugural Ale." You can see the original label art here. (Hat tip: ETBWrites.) Prefer wine? Allow me to pour you a glass of 2005 Yes We Cab!—"elegant and stately, just like Obama himself." Love that illustration. (Hat tip: Karen at Verbatim.)

In the mood for something more caloric? Good news: Ben & Jerry's has created a Yes Pecan! flavor: "amber waves of buttery ice cream with roasted nonpartisan pecans." Proceeds will be donated to the Common Cause Education Fund.  (And in the true spirit of nonpartisanship, here are some suggested flavors to honor the Bush, uh, legacy. Hat tip: Karen again.)

Perhaps you'd prefer a more lasting memento. Uncommon Goods is selling an official ballot necklace in sterling silver for just $38:

The ballots featured are either standby-by ballots (used in case the voting machines break down) or absentee, military and special ballots. The double-sided necklace showcases two parties that supported Barack Obama: the Democrat [sic] party and the Working Families Party.

You'd better not be in a hurry, though: this handmade keepsake is back-ordered till Feb. 10. (The McCain-Palin necklace is available a little sooner.)

Uncommon Goods is also selling a framed paper ballot "printed specifically for the old-fashioned, pull-lever voting machines used in New York City": $350. On the opposite end of the spectrum: a Zortz note-holder featuring a slightly scary representation of Obama's head. It's a bargain at $25.

What's that smell? Why, it's Yes We Can fragrance, "directly inspired by Obama's acceptance speech." It contains "notes of celery seed, lavender, citrus accord, and pine," and no, I don't know what "citrus accord" is. The perfume is available for $34 on Etsy.

Another Yes We Can fragrance is for sale on eBay, with no description whatsover, for only $0.99. Tip: Change the name to Eau-bama (change is good!), add some flowery copy, and jack up the price to $25. It'll fly off the shelves.

You can even sleep with your new commander-in-chief. Obama jammies and nightgowns come in adult sizes small through XXL and are 100% cotton flannel. Don't forget the Obama condoms ("for the elitist penis").

And there's much, much more. For a comprehensive list, see Sarah Hepola's compilation over at Salon. She leads with the Obama dildo (talk about a stimulus package!) and proceeds:

There is the Obama votive candle, the Obama nesting dolls, the Obama wall hanging. And lest you feel hampered by details, rest assured that an Obama product doesn't even have to actually resemble Obama: It could resemble a rather frightening Bill Cosby. Or a very tan Ed Sullivan. Or, umm, whatever this guy is.

What a great country, huh?

January Linkfest

Links for a new era:

I wish Dzine Blog would have chosen a better word than "kick-ass" to describe this portfolio of 54 beautifully executed logos, and it would have been nice to see a few words about what each logo depicts, but I can't complain about the aesthetic judgment. Take a look at this elegant example:

According to the site of designer Maggie Macnab, SwanSongs is "a non-profit that fulfills musical wishes at the end of life." Perfect name. (Hat tip: Karen at Verbatim).

I saw one of these Nvidia commercials ("Busterfump") in a movie theater a couple of weeks ago and actually scribbled a note to myself to check it out online. How often does that happen? Really, they're that good.

The weirdest team names in sports, including Deportiva Wanka, the Macon Whoopee, and the Peoria Prancers. (Via Nama Sutra.)

Two tributes to Messrs. Strunk and White, whose Elements of Style is the most disparaged essential handbook on a writer's bookshelf: The Elements of Spam (a parody, from McSweeney's) and Strunk & Twite (a helpful style guide for Twitter users, from Grammar Girl).

Ads: A Brief History, a very clever interactive timeline from Nonline Agency in Edinburgh. (Hat tip: Glen Turpin.)

Oedipus the King (of the Road), a tragedy retold by Daniel Nussbaum using 154 California vanity license plates.

"From now on, I'm boycotting any eye doctor who doesn't switch to the texter's eye chart," writes Orange Tangerine. Hear, hear.

Since 2005, Nicholas Felton has published an account of his yearly activities in the form of a personal annual report from "Feltron." Here's the 2008 edition. And here's an excerpt: "Sick days: Four. Proper house cleanings: Seven. Least kosher meal: Momofuku Ssam (whole pork butt with oysters)." (Update: I neglected to credit Davos Newbies for this.)

For those of us still mourning the demise of "The Wire": a five-minute rap video that sums about all five seasons in 5 minutes. Brilliant. (Via Kottke.)

Did you miss yesterday's Obama inaugural concert at the Lincoln Memorial? It was breathtaking, and you can enjoy it all over again on a special HBO site. Highlights for me included the glorious Renée Fleming's "You'll Never Walk Alone," Bettye LaVette and Jon Bon Jovi's stirring "Change Gonna Come," and, at the end, a beaming 89-year-old Pete Seeger singing Woody Guthrie's anthem, "This Land Is Your Land," with his grandson and Bruce Springsteen. All the verses, including the controversial radical ones.

And here's a link to the presidential inauguration Web site. Twenty-four more hours, people.

Word of the Week: Inaugalypse

Inaugalypse: A neologism, compounded from inauguration and apocalypse, to describe the blizzard of events surrounding the inauguration Tuesday of the 44th U.S. president, Barack Obama.

I first encountered Inaugalypse in a Twitter post by Ana Marie Cox, who today becomes Air America Media's first national correspondent based in Washington, DC. Listen for her Inaugalypse coverage on your local Air America radio station.

So far, a search for Inaugalypse reveals only seven matches, several of them linking to Ms. Cox. A few, however, link to two other DC bloggers: Ahlan wa Cheerio and Fizzawrites. This post will probably become number eight, unless someone beats me to it.

-alypse is a moderately productive morpheme, yielding (partial list) Iraqalypse, HipHopalypse, quarterbackalypse, clusterfuckalypse, a-shlock-alypse, and epoch-alypse. There's also Apocalypso (the title of an album and a novel) and Apocalypstick, which shows up in a book title (The Palin Prophecies: Apocalypstick Now!), in a song title, and in the name of a smart, well-written blog about beauty and makeup, Apocalypstick Now.

Other inauga- combinations have included Inaugapalooza (used only, as far as I can tell, in connection with the weeklong celebration in 2007 of the inauguration of Emporia State University's president) and Inaugarama (possibly coined by the authors of the Democratic Diva blog).