Keeping It Clean

Used to be, grooming brands wanted to be associated with, you know, raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. Or ships and sealing-wax. Well, that was then. The competition is fierce, and to gain an edge in a crowded market you must be edgy--or even borderline offensive--with your branding strategy.

For example: Underarmy, the militant antiperspirant from Bliss that drives a Humvee over the old "freshness" euphemisms in favor of a straightforward "K.O. the B.O." Did I mention that Underarmy is for women? (Bliss has a bunch of clever product names like The Youth As We Know It, Fat Girl Slim, and--my favorite--Poetic Waxing Kit. Wax poetic--get it?)

Also: Bluebeards Original grooming products for men, purportedly a "gentle system." Um, right. In the nightmare-inducing fairy tale, Bluebeard is the guy who kills his wives and hangs their bodies on the castle walls.

Also: Cutting Up, a shaving cream. Wait--I thought shaving cream was supposed to prevent the cutting up! (Hat tip to Short Takes, who adds, "There’s no truth to the rumor they’re also coming out with an after-shave called 'Stings Like Hell.'")

But the best one came into my inbox earlier today courtesy of the ever-vigilant Wes Phillips. It's a "universal no-rinse cleanser for hands and face," and it's called Momspit. That's right--just like Mother used to make! Indeed, the tagline reads: "Inspired by the original." Or, si vous préférez: "Inspiré par l'original." Ah, la salive de la mère--c'est merveilleuse! And it's full of yummy-mummy goodness, too. No alcohol!

Actually, in some of the photos it looks like a deodorant tube, so with a slight change of spelling--MomsPit--you could have yourself a twofer.

Comments

[Orange]

I thought you were joking with the French—but no, there it is on the momspit bottle! Wow.

[Jessica]

Wow, just wow. I think I have another award to bestow . . .

[Mary Sullivan]

My mom used to use an expression, "A lick and a promise" to refer to a touch-up job. Maybe Momspit is just for those times when you don't have time to do the job right?