Used to be, grooming brands wanted to be associated with, you know, raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. Or ships and sealing-wax. Well, that was then. The competition is fierce, and to gain an edge in a crowded market you must be edgy--or even borderline offensive--with your branding strategy.
For example: Underarmy, the militant antiperspirant from Bliss that drives a Humvee over the old "freshness" euphemisms in favor of a straightforward "K.O. the B.O." Did I mention that Underarmy is for women? (Bliss has a bunch of clever product names like The Youth As We Know It, Fat Girl Slim, and--my favorite--Poetic Waxing Kit. Wax poetic--get it?)
Also: Bluebeards Original grooming products for men, purportedly a "gentle system." Um, right. In the nightmare-inducing fairy tale, Bluebeard is the guy who kills his wives and hangs their bodies on the castle walls.
Also: Cutting Up, a shaving cream. Wait--I thought shaving cream was supposed to prevent the cutting up! (Hat tip to Short Takes, who adds, "There’s no truth to the rumor they’re also coming out with an after-shave called 'Stings Like Hell.'")
But the best one came into my inbox earlier today courtesy of the ever-vigilant Wes Phillips. It's a "universal no-rinse cleanser for hands and face," and it's called Momspit. That's right--just like Mother used to make! Indeed, the tagline reads: "Inspired by the original." Or, si vous préférez: "Inspiré par l'original." Ah, la salive de la mère--c'est merveilleuse! And it's full of yummy-mummy goodness, too. No alcohol!
Actually, in some of the photos it looks like a deodorant tube, so with a slight change of spelling--MomsPit--you could have yourself a twofer.